With that said, there has been a great amount of controversy as of late regarding my consideration to reassign funds and resources that have previously been directed towards the Office of African-American Student Services & Programs (OAASS&P). Again, I feel no need to explain my actions or reasoning to anyone other than the University’s president. However, I do feel it is important to clarify that my intention was never to specifically target a particular area of the University solely because of racist or discriminatory reasons. As well, it concerns me that members of the student body may be misinterpreting my actions as such.
My phone suddenly buzzed, taking my attention away from the email I had been reading on my laptop that was, itself, taking my attention away from Professor Williams’s class. Rory must have heard it, too, because he looked at me out of the corner of his eye. I shook my head on the sly, then slowly slid my phone from out of my pocket. Clarity had sent me a text:
Stokely! Have u read ur email yet? Check it! I think it’s a battle won, but the war still isn’t over. – Clare
I was admittedly taken aback by Clarity’s message. Not because she sent it to me when she knew I was in class… but because it had been quite a minute since I’d talked to her. I didn’t know what I had done, or what was going on with her, but ever since we’d hung out that Friday of Spring Break, she’d been acting strange. She’d spoke to me ever since in short phrases, and didn’t seem to notice when I was joking with her during our “pow-wow” sessions the last two weeks regarding the OAASS&P. It was kind of like what the singer Musiq had talked about in his song “halfcrazy”: “you used to laugh, now you get mad/ and really, I just want my friend back.”
But this wasn’t the time or place to worry about that. I sent a Checkin it now text back to Clarity, then went back to reading that email.
Consequently, after much discussion amongst my peers on staff and with the University president, I have decided to hold an open forum to both clear the air about the rumors and falsehoods that may have been communicated to the student body and to also hear student feedback. I was unaware that certain members of the student body were so passionate about certain areas of campus, or that they felt these particular areas of campus made significant contributions to the Georgia State community. On Tuesday, March 31, 2009, I invite everyone who is a part of the Georgia State University community to come out and be a part of this candid discussion about GSU’s needs and what we can do TOGETHER to make sure those needs are met.
I hope that you will bring your opinions and views to this forum, in much the same way as you have to other mediums in the past few weeks. Thank you for your time and have a great day.
At the exact moment that I’d finished reading the email, the bell rang, signaling the end of class. Students, some of them emerging from silent naps, rushed to gather their things and get out of the classroom. But Professor Williams, as usual, wasn’t going to let us go that gently.
“Wait!” she shouted, stopping all of us in our tracks. “Before you all leave, I wanted to remind you all that your paper proposals for the Final Paper for this course are due one week from now. Remember that your proposals must be between 2 and 3 pages double-spaced in Microsoft Word. I’ll send an email reminder out about this as well. Alright, I’ll see you all Thursday.”
I joined the masses that filed out of the classroom. I hated to admit it, but I’d needed that reminder from Professor Williams. It was now that following Tuesday, March 24; and between Spring Break and last week, and this week right now, I was mentally all over the place. If I even made it TO Thursday, I’d be thankful. A lot had happened in a very short amount of time. The biggest thing was Spring Break itself. Of course, I’d found out from Graham that things hadn’t exactly gone well with the two of them when Kandyce went out to visit his folks. He’d told me that Kandyce had gotten angry with him because of something that had happened at a family dinner with his parents; while I’d felt like Graham hadn’t told me the whole story, I felt it wasn’t my business and accepted what he’d told me. I became even more concerned when I hit Kandyce back up later that Spring Break week, on that Thursday, and she hadn’t returned my texts.
It was a tough situation to be in. My two best friends, seeing each other but going through a rough patch in their relationship. I was in the middle of it, and I wanted to really be in the middle of it, but it wouldn’t be good for me to BE in the middle of it, if that made sense. And almost immediately, I wanted to accuse Graham of doing something. In the back of my mind, I felt that wasn’t fair. I wondered if Kandyce might be pushing him away because of her secret life, a secret I was sure she still hadn’t told Graham about.
To make matters worse, just last week, they’d taken a “break” from each other. I’d wanted to kick Graham’s ass so bad for that. Why, I thought, why would he want to ruin a good thing? Unfortunately, I hadn’t been able to talk to him about that because I’d been so preoccupied. The one good thing about their “break” was that Kandyce hadn’t objected to doing something with me for her birthday last Thursday. I’d finally gotten my date with her. Although that hadn’t exactly gone according to plan, either.
The other issue with Spring Break was Clarity. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel like the past few weeks had brought us closer. I’d gone out with Clarity on Friday and done the picnic with her and everything simply to show her a good time. After all, that’s what friends do, right? They make sure the other person knows that they appreciate their company. After that Friday, though, after I’d brought her home… something in Clarity’s demeanor changed. And I couldn’t figure out what. It was almost like we’d gone back to the same awkward place we’d found ourselves in after that night two years ago: a week of not talking to each other, not because we didn’t want to talk, but because neither of us knew what to say.
But what had I done this time? I wondered. I’d asked her about Kandyce. I’d kissed her goodnight during Spring Break, an innocent kiss, I thought. And then, this past Thursday when I’d had Kandyce over for her birthday dinner, Clarity had pretty much saved my ass when she’d called me and told me to call Graham because he was a little “worried” he couldn’t reach Kandyce or me.What if I wasn’t what I had done… but rather, what I HADN’T? My eyes darted up in sudden realization. No way… she can’t possibly feel like…
I was pulled out of my thoughts by what my eyes had landed upon, however. I guess my body must have been going as fast as my mind had been, because now I was far away from the General Classroom building and inside of the Student Union. I had stopped in front of a bulletin board on one of the walls in the Union, and on that bulletin board was a poster, a poster which was somehow just as flashy and eyegrabbing as the neon flyers tacked to the board around it. The poster had a black background and a grey smoke effect going on that seemed to rise from the bottom of it up to the center of the poster. Against the black background, their legs slightly visible in the “smoke,” one could see outlined in crimson red five silhouettes, each holding elongated candy canes at their right sides. Standing out of the smoke effect, in red letters outlined in white, were the words
THE TRUTH IS KOMING… 3.27.09… 7:11 PM – STUDENT UNION
I didn’t notice it until I’d broken out of my trance, but a crowd of students had gathered around me. It seemed the poster had also caught their attention, and they were all whispering amongst themselves. At least, it seemed like they were focused on the poster. I managed to break myself free of the crowd, looking back at them out of the corner of my eye as I walked away. When I looked up again, my eyes fell on a familiar face: Mike. He briefly glanced from me, to the crowd of students at the bulletin board, then back to me. He shrugged at me, and I just nodded back at him. Simple gestures, but I felt between the two of us, they said everything that needed to be said. For now.
***
“Graham?” I heard the voice call my name, but I hadn’t really been paying attention. I was more focused on what was going on at the other end of the Student Union, where a crowd was forming. In my mind, I thanked Frankie for convincing me that it was a good idea to put one of the posters for the big event up in here.
“Graham!” The voice called out again, and a pair of fingers snapped in my face at the same time, bringing my attention back to where it should’ve been to begin with. I shook my head and blinked a few times, then focused back on the beautiful girl in front of me.
“Girl, don’t be snapping your fingers in my face!” I ordered her playfully.
“I wouldn’t have had to if you had been listening me,” the young lady sitting before me said with a smirk.
“Okay, my bad, my bad,” I apologized to her. “What’s up?”
“Well, it’s not that serious,” she admitted, unable to contain a small smile from spreading across her face. “I was just going to ask you if you might, you know… tell me what’s up on this probate again?”
“Mannn,” I said, sucking my teeth and rolling my eyes playfully. “This is like, what, the fourth time you’ve asked me that? We can’t just enjoy lunch?” She laughed out loud, perhaps a bit too hard.
“I mean, I’m just saying. Like, you can’t even tell a sista who just ONE of the guys coming out is? Just one name?” I shook my head. “Man, Graham, why are you being so stubborn?! Shoot, I’m Greek, too. I know the rules, I’m not gonna tell anybody.”
“Well, if you know the rules,” I started, looking at her with a smirk on my face, “then you know telling ‘anybody’ includes telling you. Besides, if you don’t know by now who we have coming out, then you DESERVE to wait ‘til Friday.”
“I mean, I have a few guesses,” she admitted. “But I just want a confirmation.”
“Man, Je’Nah… no!” I said, like I was frustrated, though she could probably tell I was just playing around.
“Well, fine then, Graham!” she retorted, sticking her tongue out at me for extra effort. We both burst out laughing at each other.
It was Tuesday still. Je’Nah and I had decided to do lunch again to talk about next week’s forthcoming “Krimson and Kreme” week, a week of events that the Deltas and Kappas would be putting on together. Don’t get it twisted, though. After Kandyce’s birthday on Thursday and all that happened that night… well, Kandyce and I were still a couple, but something had clearly changed in the fabric of our relationship. The honeymoon, so to speak, was definitely over. She’d finally answered the phone when I called her the day after her birthday, at which point she explained to me that she hadn’t been returning my calls because she’d been angry with me. As for where she’d been, Kandyce told me she had gone out with her girlfriends on a sort of “girls’ night” downtown. I accepted both of her explanations (not like I had a choice otherwise) and ever since then, at the least, we’d been back on talking terms. Part of me wondered, though, if Kandyce just might have been lying to me.
Doubt in a relationship is never good. Almost all relationship issues begin with one person not feeling like they can trust the other. It wasn’t even that I didn’t trust Kandyce, but it was something about her… something about the way she’d said “it was just me and the girls” that didn’t quite sound right. Not knowing where else to turn, I’d asked Stokely for his advice about it when we met up this past weekend. Though truth be told, Stokely was barely above suspicion his damn self. He was the one who called me the night of Kandyce’s birthday.
“Yeah, bro, you rang?” Stokely had answered on the second ring when I’d called him.
“Yeah, man,” I’d told him. “I, umm… well, it’s Kandyce’s birthday and all, and I was just trying to get in touch with my girlfriend, man, you know. I figured you might be able to help me find her?”
“Ah. Hmm. Bro, I wish I could be of more help,” he’d replied. “But I don’t know where she is. I’m actually in the library with Clarity working on something. We have a paper due in Professor Williams’ class next week.”
“Oh, okay,” had been all I was able to think to say at the time. After that, I’d just hung up. I hadn’t bothered to think about it anymore because my sole concern had just been making sure that wherever Kandyce had been Thursday night, Stokely was nowhere nearby. Well, that, plus I felt guilty for my motive behind asking that question, so I’d just accepted Stokely’s answer. And he’s your best friend! I couldn’t help thinking. You should feel like shit for even thinking Stokely would do something like that to you.
“But sometimes it’s the people you let closest to you, who are in the best position to strike the blows that will hurt you the most.”
“What?” Je’Nah asked me. I looked up at her and remembered where I was again.
“My bad,” I told her. “Must have just been thinking aloud.”
“I figured that,” she replied, taking a sip from her soda. “But what did you say, though? It sounded kind of… poignant.”
“‘Sometimes it’s the people you let closest to you, who are in the best position to strike the blows that will hurt you the most.’” I repeated myself.
“Ah. Yeah, I was right. That’s DEFINITELY poignant. Let me guess, it’s one of your ‘Graham-isms?’” I nodded, unable to contain a smile. She knew me so well, I thought. “I missed hearing those. You’re too busy for certain folks these days.” Je’Nah stuck out her tongue at me again.
“Hey, the next time you stick that tongue of yours out… you might not get it back.”
“Oh, is that so?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I replied. “That’s so.”
There was a mischievous glint in Je’Nah’s eyes now. I’d seen that look before, years ago, when we were both younger… and not attached. She leaned forward with her arms down and elbows on the table, licked her lips slowly. She was daring me, I thought. I had never been one to back down from a challenge. I ran a hand over my bald head, then leaned forward on the table myself, tilted my head up a little bit, called her bluff. Everything around us seemed to move in slow-motion. Je’Nah’s lips started to part.
“AHEM!
“AHEM!”
“I let the roof drop (drippin’ candy with Super Baby)/ in my new car (and I’m glad that she love ta’ have me)/ I’m like, oooh Lawd (from Jamaica to Puerto Rico)/ down to Utah (from Miami to California)…”
“AHEM!” Je’Nah shouted, clearing her throat once again. This time, the girls standing in front of us turned around. Though if I were honest, even though Je’Nah had been loud, I was surprised the girls had heard her over the loud music playing in the Student Union. The fact that they heard this time, I thought, means they probably heard her the first time, too, and just ignored her. I shook my head but remained silent.
“Umm, yeah?” the girl asked, looking at Je’Nah with her eyebrows raised.
“Y’all need to move,” Je’Nah told her. “You see these jackets? We’re Greek. Priority seating, boo.” The girl looked over at her friend, then back at Je’Nah.
“Priority seating? Why?”
“Umm, hello! Again, the jackets.” Je’Nah was clearly losing her patience at this point. “We’re DELTAS. Meaning if we want to get closer to the damn probate, y’all need to fall back.”
“No, YOU need to fall back with that weave…”
“… I said, man, girl/ You think it’s 5 o’clock traffic on that 101?/ Maybe later on tonight, you and me can have ourselves a 1-on-1/ I swear I’ve seen you somewhere else/ Maybe it was on a movie screen/ Maybe it was on television/ Or on the cover of a magazine…”
By that point, the song that was playing – “That’s How I Go,” by the rapper Baby Bash, with Mario and Lil ‘Jon – coupled with the loudness of everyone talking around us, had caused me to lose focus on Je’Nah’s argument with those girls in front of us. Apparently, all the posters around campus and the multiple facebook event invitations and inbox messages had done what the Kappas expected them to do, because it was literally standing room only in the Student Union right now. Looking around, I saw Black students I had NEVER seen before, and there was a good number of non-Black students out here, too. Even some non-Black Greeks had come out – I saw some guys wearing the white shirts with brown lettering associated with Lambda Theta Phi, Incorporated, a Latin fraternity.
It was Friday night now, and everyone seemed to have found their way to the GSU Student Union for Kappa Alpha Psi’s “probate,” or presentation of new membership for this semester. Probates were always a fun occasion for Black GSU, because you were often bound to be surprised (or not) as to who was “on line” for a certain organization. The probates also provided a good environment for us Black Greeks to just enjoy each other’s company. As they are on any campus, the Black Greeks at Georgia State University were very competitive. Because of the amount of (figurative) blood and (literal) sweat and tears that we often put into our respective organizations, we were all quite passionate about “our letters.” While I wasn’t a fan of it, I could certainly understand why some people would literally go to blows over someone disrespecting their organization either through a gesture or spoken words. After all, the bond that a good sisterhood or brotherhood formed was sometimes thicker than blood… and you don’t let anyone fuck with your family.
“Trick, get the hell out of here!” I turned in Je’Nah’s direction just to see her lunge at the two girls from earlier, and they quickly scattered away in fear. “Damn boppers. Out here seeking employment opportunities and shit for the fall.” I’d burst out laughing at that.
“Je’Nah, you just be mean sometimes!” I told her. “Just mean for no reason!”
“I had a reason to go off on those girls, though, K!” Je’Nah tried to explain herself. “I promise! How DARE she talk about my hair when there wasn’t a damn thing real on her ass! Fake Gucci bag, fake eyelashes… talking about ‘Don’t step on my Louboutins.’ Shit looked more like Louie’s Boots or something. Tip Drill 2009 lookin’ asses.”
“Je’Nah, stop!” I was almost crying laughing at my friend now. “Dang. Let them make it! I can’t even tell if that’s you or the liquor talking.”
“It’s me, trust me.”
“Prada frames on me/ Look at the chain on me/ Oh, that brotha got a mean swag on him, don’t he?/ All the girls want me, but couple girls only/ Yea, you lookin’ good, but don’t put ya stain on me…”
“Oh, this is my SONG! Kandyce, we HAVE to do this one!” And before I could even react, Je’Nah had dragged me out of the crowd and out into the open behind the other Black Greeks who had started “strutting” to the new song that was on now, the rapper Big Tuck’s “Not a Stain on Me.” Luckily, our other sorority sisters had spotted us and came over to where we were so that it wouldn’t be just me and Je’Nah representing for Delta. As soon as we found a break, we followed Je’Nah’s lead, taking four strides forward then rocking our bodies to the left and right in tune with the bass of the song, arms stretched forward and palms out with each index finger and thumb touching each other to form a triangle, or “Delta” sign.
I started really feeling it mid-song, to where I was stopping after the fourth stride to duck my head down and sway my head and hips from side to side, but in opposing directions. Eventually, the pink and green jackets of girls in Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority could be seen behind us, and the brothers of the GSU chapters of Alpha Phi Alpha and Omega Psi Phi Fraternity were moving alongside of us, each organization’s members doing a strut and gesture specific to that organization.
“I see you, K!” One of the Alphas called as they strutted past us, and I couldn’t help grinning back at him.
Some people around the room were cheering us on, but most of them were dancing to the song by themselves or with their friends. Eventually, the song ended, and some of us Greeks exchanged high fives and hugs with one another before breaking away back into the crowd. I took advantage of the break to fix my hair, which I had thrown in every which way while we had been strutting. Suddenly, I felt someone tap me on my shoulder. I turned around and broke into a huge smile upon seeing who it was – Venezuela Sanchez, who was looking pretty cute, I had to admit, in her white jacket with the pink and purple lettering representing her sorority, Sigma Lambda Gamma, Incorporated.
“Vee!” I exclaimed, hugging her. “I haven’t seen you in a while! And who’s that with you?” I looked around her to see the guy who was standing behind her. “Rory! How you been, boy?!”
“Same ol’, same ol’, Kandyce,” he replied with a smile. “We saw you over here and just wanted to come over and say hello.”
“Yeah,” Venezuela piped up. “Well, also, I was kind of looking for Mike…”
“Mike?” I asked.
“Yeah. I saw Rory first and figured Mike might be with him since they’re best friends. But Rory hadn’t seen him, so then we saw you, and thought YOU might know where he was.”
“Not at all,” I replied. “But speaking of best friends, I haven’t seen Clarity since we left the house. And where’s Stokely? I haven’t seen him since he k-”
Kissed me. I managed to stop myself just before I blurted it out. I hoped no one had caught my slip-up, but all eyes were clearly on me. Got damn it!
“Since what, Kandyce?” Je’Nah asked.
“Nothing,” I said quickly.
“Are you sure?” Venezuela prodded. “Because it really seemed like you had something to-”
Just then, the lights in the Student Union went out, save for a few white ones all the way in the back over the front doors. The room fell completely silent. Within moments, the front doors of the Student Union opened. The bright light of a lantern switched on, and one could see behind it three of the current Kappas dressed out in black suits with pink dress shirts and dark red ties.
“Bout damn time,” Je’Nah whispered. “It’s like 8:15. Didn’t these niggas say it was gon’ start at 7:11?”
“In nineteen-hundred and eleven…” a deep voice thundered from the front of the room, and all heads darted back in that direction. Where the DJ had been positioned to the left of the big stage at the front of the union, there was now a small, bright red light shining. “The truth was founded. And everything before that… and everything after that… were merely lies.
“Some niggas can’t handle the truth. Most niggas WISH they were the truth. All women want the truth. But only a few brave souls can actually BE the truth. And the truth ain’t for everybody. They say that underneath every truth, it’s always a Konspiracy Theory.” Again, the room fell silent. Then
“AYOOOOOOOO!” A loud voice shouts from the back of the room, causing everyone to spin back around. After blinking a few times, I can see past the white light that the guy holding the lantern is Vincent, one of the guys who crossed with Graham. And just barely visible behind Vincent, I could make out a number of guys, each of them appearing to be wearing a red hood over their heads.
“… So Fressssssh!/ Coming through shining on ‘em/ Keep that lime on me, nigga/ Get money on ‘em/ (So fresssh!)/ Shinin’ all the time, my ice be bubbly/ Gucci tailor-made and them hoes so lovely…”
Birdman’s song “The Money So Fresh” cut through the silence and echoed through the Student Union. As if on cue, the lantern in the back of the room began to move forward, towards the empty lane in the middle of the crowd. At first, it looked like the guys kept falling and getting back up. As the lantern got closer and, therefore, the Kappas, got closer and closer, however, I could see that they were all doing the “shimmy” – the Kappa strut in which the men would lean forward, extend an arm and shift their shoulders smoothly from one side to the other, dipping their bodies a bit at the end of the motion. They slowly approached us, the crowd going wild and shouting encouragement to the young men coming through.
“… Yeah, this big money talk/ see, I got it from the big brotha/ (big brotha)/ from a lil’ brotha (lil’ brotha), to the field brotha (field brotha)/Mold and swole, brotha want the whole blow/ So we put the game down and we got it under control/ Disrespect the ‘G’ code? Naw, fuck that…”
The guys had reached us at the front of the room now. The crowd was practically roaring. As they headed up the steps leading to the stage, I counted 10 guys between the Kappas in suits at the front and back of the “line.” They all wore red hoods, khaki pants with suspenders, and dark red bowties, from what I could make out when the lantern had passed by us.
“Kandyce!” I heard Je’Nah whisper.
“What?” I whispered back, never taking my eyes off the guys lining up on the stage.
“I have a feeling you’re really going to like this line.”
“I already know who’s on the line, thank you,” I replied.
“Doubt it.”
“Okay, so I know all of them but ONE,” I admitted.
The lights in the Student Union all came back on again, and the “So Fresh” song abruptly cut off. The ten men in red hoods formed a straight line, from shortest to tallest; or, as we often referred to them, from “ace” to “tail.” Each one held before him between clenched fists a somewhat long red-and-white-striped cane. I could see a few of those fists trembling. I smiled, all too familiar of that nervousness one could have before finally revealing themselves to the world as the newest member of an organization. Graham, looking gorgeous as usual in a black suit that complimented his dark skin perfectly, suddenly walked past everyone on the stage over to where the DJ was. He turned back towards us with a microphone in his hands.
“YO NUPES!” Graham shouted, and the ten mystery men on stage quickly lowered their canes to the ground and linked their arms together.
“Yes, sir!” they replied in unison from underneath their red hoods.
“Are you the TRUTH?” Graham asked them.
“Yes, sir! We are the truth, and we don’t lie! We are the pride of Kappa Alpha Psi!” The crowd shouted cheers of approval and numerous chants at the guys upon their response.
“I don’t believe you. Prove it.” Graham told them. Immediately, the other Kappas who were dressed out in suits walked behind the line of hooded men, and Graham walked over to join them. The hoods of each man, one by one, were yanked away from their heads. The Student Union rumbled from all the cheers and cries that came from the crowd.
“MIKE!” I heard Venezuela say behind me. Mike, I had actually known was “pledging.” I figured that out about a week after he’d seen me at the Creamy Peaches. But it was the eighth guy who caught me by surprise. I had to blink twice just to make sure my eyes weren’t tripping on me. But the same person was still standing there, eyes staring forward past me and into the crowd, jaw clenched and looking, somehow, more handsome than he ever had before. I felt the awe that was plastered all over my face, felt my face get warm as a toothy grin spread across it.
“STOKELY.”
