“Happy Birthday, Kandle!”
“Why, thank you, baby sister!” I told the voice on the other end of the phone, feeling a huge grin spread across my face for what seemed like the millionth time today. “I surely do appreciate it.”
“Did you get Daddy’s gift?”
“Did I?” I looked over at the vase full of sunflowers that had been delivered to my apartment door earlier this morning and felt my grin expand even more. There was a reason my Daddy was the number one man in my life, even if at times I didn’t feel I was number one in his. I resisted the urge to walk back over and admire my bouquet again; it was probably easier to resist since I had read the card attached to the flowers so many times already that I’d memorized the message written on the inside. “Baby, we have our disagreements, but I am so blessed to have you as a daughter. I am proud every day – not just on your birthday – of the beautiful young woman you have grown into. Happy Birthday, Kandy Cane. I love you! – Dad”
“So what you got planned, anyway?” Koral asked. “I know you’re going OUT for your birthday. Getting your college party on and all!”
“Psh, not even,” I replied. “Well, not tonight, anyway. It’s still a school night, you know. NEVER go out on a Thursday night when you have class Friday morning. Learn from my mistakes sophomore year, young one.”
“Okay, okay,” Koral said, laughing. “I’ll take your word for it. Well, are you doing anything at all?”
“Actually,” I started, “You kind of called me in the middle of my other celebration.”
“Other celebration?” Koral asked. “I thought you said you weren’t partying tonight.”
“Koral, there are other ways of celebrating one’s birthday.”
“Oh, is that so, big sister? Like what?” She paused for a minute as if she was thinking about something, then suddenly gasped in surprise. “Oh my gosh! You must giving that boy of yours some birthday nasty! What was his name again? I know it was the name of a cookie… Chip, maybe?”
“Chip?! Really, Koral?” I almost started to correct her, but decided against it since I was laughing so hard. “And besides… ‘birthday nasty’?! What kind of girl do you take me for? That’s disgusting! I’m not like your fast-ass cheerleader friends, thank you. I’m a grown woman!
“And speaking of which, it’s about that time for me to do some grown-woman things. You wouldn’t know nothing about that!”
“Whatever, Kandyce,” Koral replied, and I could hear the bitterness in her voice. “I’ll be 18 in a few months, finally!”
“And you’ll STILL be my little sister. 18 don’t make you grown, young one. That’s 21!”
“Ugh, you get on my nerves! You’re lucky it’s your birthday, or I’d be capping on you,” she said, though I could hear her laughing through the receiver.
“Um-hum. But it is, so you ain’t! Anyway, I’ll call y’all this weekend, okay? Thanks again for the birthday wishes, Koral!”
“No problem, big sister!” Koral replied. “Love you and enjoy the rest of your birthday! Oh, and use protection, please! Some girl in the freakin’ Honor Society just got pregnant, I found out. I swear it’s a different girl every six months getting knocked up over here. I’m not ready to be Aunt Koral, you know…”
“BYE, Koral!” I was still giggling at my baby sister’s rant even after I’d hung up the phone. She could be so crazy sometimes, I thought, shaking my head. But as much as I hated to admit it, that was why I loved her so much. Immediately after getting off the phone with Koral, I hopped back onto Facebook Mobile, anxious to read and check all the birthday wishes that had been added to my profile since I’d last checked it.
Obviously, it was now Thursday, March 19. On this day 22 years ago, the Lord so loved the world that he blessed it with Kandyce Jasmine White. And so far, my birthday was shaping out to be one of the best ones ever. Looking over all the posts on my facebook page, I felt the love. Even the basic generic “Happy Birthday” posts were making me feel better. That, coupled with my daddy’s flowers and…
“You say you don’t trust him because he been locked up/ You say that he’s trouble ‘cuz he out in the strip club/ But you were young once, so you should under-staaand/ You say that you know, ‘cuz you been a witness…”
The ringtone had interrupted my facebook session and completely caught me off-guard. Well, not completely, because I’d certainly heard it a few times today. But this had to be AT LEAST the fourth time he’d called me today. The ringtone was, of course, Destiny’s Child’s song, “My Man.” Even though he’d really bothered me suggesting that we take that “break,” Graham still WAS my man and I definitely still cared about him and keeping us intact. But I hadn’t really talked to him since he’d left that message on my phone Monday. He didn’t call me at all on Tuesday, which I took as a slap in the face. Perhaps he was just trying to avoid any awkwardness (or, more than likely, me going off on him); but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t taken that some kind of way. It really felt like Graham didn’t give a damn about even working on whatever it was he felt was a problem. He’d wanted some time apart and his actions made it seem like he was taking advantage of our little “break” to go on a vacation of his own.
Needless to say, when he finally did get at me on Wednesday, I wasn’t trying to hear from him. Okay, scratch that. I did want to hear from him, I did want to hear his voice, but I just wasn’t trying to hear him talk. In a sense, it was probably for Graham’s own good. I was still mad at him, and I was certain that I would’ve found something wrong with whatever he might have had to say. But today, Graham had tried to get in touch with me… and he HAD had some random sophomore – no doubt one of the guys they had on Kappa line – “deliver” a chocolate-colored teddy bear holding some Milk Duds to me in Professor Williams’s class earlier. I stared down at the phone for what seemed like forever, the ringtone still blaring throughout the living room. And then I looked up.
Stokely was now standing outside of the kitchen in his apartment, staring at me with an almost worried expression on his face. I knew what he was thinking. I was thinking it, too. We locked eyes, the room quiet except for “My Man” still playing.
“Well, that’s him, right?” Stokely finally said, breaking the silence. I nodded. “Are you going to answer that?” I looked down at the phone, then back up at him. The very last thing I needed was some kind of drama on my birthday, I thought. But still… hearing from Graham was the only thing missing from today, MY day…
I sighed deeply and pressed a button on the phone. And almost immediately after, I regretted my decision.
***
“Hello, you’ve reached Kandyce White. I’m probably busy, but if you leave your name, number, and a message, I promise to return your call as soon as possible. Thanks, and take care!”
“FUCK!” I shouted. I hung up the phone before the answering machine “beep” even finished. “Damn, man! Why the hell isn’t she picking up the phone?”
“I don’t know why you’re looking at me, bro,” Vincent said. “I for damn sure don’t know.”
“Nigga, didn’t I warn your ass?”
“Man, don’t start, Lloyd,” I told him. “This ain’t the time, man.”
“I mean, shit, I hate to say I told you so,” Lloyd replied. “I sincerely hoped I wouldn’t HAVE to. But here we are… Niggas never want to listen until after the fact, until after something bad happens or things don’t go their way.”
“Fine, fine! You’re right, okay?” I gave in. “So I’m listening now. Tell me what I’m supposed to do. I mean, hell, I’m just trying to talk to my girl on her birthday, and she won’t even pick up the damn phone for that? I sent her ass a damn gift today! I’m trying to make it right even though she’s mad at me, and this is the thanks I get?” Lloyd simply looked at me like I was crazy. “What?! It’s true!”
Thursday night. And when I should have been kicking it with my girl on her day, I was instead hanging with my frat at Earl and Lloyd’s apartment, preparing for the big event next week. Lloyd had actually planned for us to work on things Wednesday. But when I’d brought him up to speed about Kandyce’s giving me the “silent treatment,” he decided instead to move things ahead to Thursday. I’d thought he was doing that on purpose, just so I would end up missing her birthday; now, though, it seemed like he’d known something I didn’t, or at least anticipated Kandyce’s actions well.
“Aye, y’all get back on task!” Earl barked. “Shit. This ain’t the Tyra show.”
“The Tyra Show?” Vincent asked with a laugh. “Nigga, you must watch that shit because that was random as hell.”
“Right!” Frankie piped up. “Bird probably be on the sly rooting for those young girls with self-esteem issues. Crying and shit.”
“Hey, cut that out!” Earl lashed out, and we all started laughing at him. “Even if I DO watch Tyra, so what?”
“Dawg, why you so sensitive?” Frankie asked in a mock female voice, reaching out to touch Earl on his shoulder. We cracked up even harder when Earl jerked away from him.
“Man, that ain’t even right!” Earl said, though he was laughing with us by now. “Y’all play too much. Shit. Anyway… Vince, you said you booked the Union, right?”
“Yes, sir. We have the whole area reserved there, as well as outside where the general University Plaza is. It was just backup in case y’all might have wanted to either bring the guys in from outside, or just do the probate outside.”
“Sounds good,” Earl replied. “Sounds good. What about the posters for the event? How are we coming along on that?”
“I’ve been working on it,” I spoke up. Publicity for the event had been my responsibility. “It’s pretty much complete now, I had just wanted to play around with different ideas on photoshop and all. I’ve been distracted for a minute…”
“Clearly,” Frankie mumbled.
“I’ve been distracted for a minute,” I repeated myself, sidestepping Frankie’s comment, “but y’all should have the image tonight. Get me y’all’s feedback early enough and I’ll try to have things at the printer tomorrow afternoon for pick up Saturday.”
“Good,” Earl said. “Good shit! It seems like for the most part, we’re all good to go for next Friday, then.”
“Pretty much,” Lloyd agreed. “I’m admittedly excited about these boys coming in, man. I see a lot of potential in them.”
“Yeah, me too. But hey, hold up, y’all. I gotta go to the bathroom.”
“Nigga, you ain’t have to announce that shit!” Vincent said. “I mean, this is your place. You come and go as you please.”
“Man, I’m just saying, youngin, in case y’all start talking about something. I want to be in the loop, too! Shit.” We all chuckled again as Earl left the living room and headed into his bedroom. After a minute or two had passed, I nudged Lloyd.
“What?” he asked, looking at me with an irritated expression on his face.
“Dawg, tell me what I need to do about Kandyce!”
“Man, nigga, let that girl alone, man,” Frankie said. “Didn’t you say y’all were taking a vacation from each other or something? Shit, for right now, you single. Enjoy that shit, man, and stop worrying about Kandyce.”
“See, that’s how you know.” Vincent remarked.
“That’s how you know what?” Frankie asked, looking at him. I was curious to know myself.
“That’s how you know this nigga Frankie never been in a relationship. Not a long one, anyway.”
“Man, I hate yo’ ass, Vincent. Putting my business out there like that.”
“Dawg, when we were on line,” Vincent started, “did you not tell EVERYBODY that the longest you’d ever stayed with a chick was three months?”
“No, nigga, I did not say that at all.” Frankie replied. “You misquoting me and putting words in my mouth. Three months?” He sucked his teeth and looked away from all of us, and for a minute, I thought he was actually offended. “It was more like three weeks.” We all burst out laughing.
“Man, Frankie… you dog-ass nigga,” Vincent said between laughs. “Man… okay, but look, for real, though, Graham. The obvious answer to your question, is to ask her girlfriend.”
“What?!” Lloyd asked.
“I’m telling him he should ask Kandyce’s girlfriend. You know, her best friend. Everybody knows that when a dude is in the dark about why his girl is mad at him, you can count on her best friend to shed some light on the situation.”
“Okay, first, that only works if you’re cool with the girl and her best friend. And second, hell naw, Graham should NOT do that shit.” Lloyd turned to look at me. “I’m telling you, you call ol’ girl and it’s going to do more harm than good.”
“Man, don’t listen to Lloyd’s paranoid, ‘the one that got away’ ass, man,” Vincent said. “Trust me, it’s never failed me. If you had an issue with Kandyce, who’s the first person you would think to go to? Je’Nah, right?”
“Yeah,” I replied. “Yeah, Je’Nah would… actually, Je’Nah would be who I would go to if I thought Kandyce had an issue. Kandyce would probably actually go to… aww, hell.”
“What?” Vincent asked.
“I would probably have to ask Clarity.”
“Okay. So?”
“Man, it’s not that simple, Vincent.” On the sly, I exchanged a knowing glance with Lloyd. “Clarity and I don’t always get along.”
“Dawg, that doesn’t even matter,” Vincent assured me. “It’s not about you and ol’ girl. It’s about you and Kandyce.”
“And you honestly believe how Clarity may feel about Graham, won’t play a role in what she tells him?” Lloyd asked.
“I honestly do. She may not like him, but she knows Kandyce does, right? I know Clarity. She can be a little stubborn and shit, but she’s not like most of the girls on campus that just try to be messy. I’d trust her before I trust Je’Nah’s ass.”
“Man, you still mad at her about that party?” Frankie piped up, chuckling. “Vince, that was a whole year ago, bro.”
“Frankie, I’m telling you! I could see if we all went to different schools or something. But no… not only did we cross on the same campus, but we’re Sandz, we crossed the same damn year… and Je’Nah STILL charged my ass full-price at the door for that damn party after midnight! Hello, Greek discount?! That shit wasn’t cool!”
“Okay, okay,” I broke in. “But back on task. You really think I should call Clarity.”
“Ye-“ “NO.”
“Man, stop blocking his ass, dawg!” Vincent told Lloyd.
“I’m not blocking Graham, I’m trying to save his ass,” Lloyd corrected him. He turned to me again. “Graham, I told your ass the last time and you didn’t listen. You’re going to let history repeat itself?”
“Lloyd,” I started, sighing deeply. “At the least, it’s worth a try.” Lloyd threw his hands in the air in frustration.
“Niggas! Damn… y’all don’t listen for SHIT!”
“Lloyd, calm down, man. It’s not that crucial,” I heard Frankie say. But by that time, I was already up from my place on the living room couch and walking towards the back porch of the apartment. This was a conversation I’d need to have in private, I thought. I unlocked the glass back door and made my way out onto the apartment balcony.
“Oh, so niggas ain’t good enough to cake in front of their friends now?” Vincent cracked, but I waved him off and closed the glass door behind me. I broke out my Blackberry and dialed Clarity’s phone number. I hope she can put her beef with me aside for this, I thought as the phone started ringing. It’s like Vincent said, this ain’t about me and her, this is about me and Kandyce.
The phone rang a second time. Then a third. Then a fourth. Then
“You have reached the Georgia Mobile voicemail box of… Clarity Evans.” Man, this is some bullshit! I couldn’t help thinking. Nobody’s answering their phones for me? Really, though? The only other person I could think to call was Stokely, and I didn’t know if he was going to be willing to help me out… My phone suddenly buzzed. I pulled it away from my ear and saw that I had a call waiting. I felt my heart leap into my throat when I saw who it was. I swallowed hard, then answered the call.
“H-Hello?” I asked. I was almost mad at myself for sounding so damn nervous.
“Hey, Graham. You called me, right?”
“Yeah, I did, actually, Clarity. Umm… listen, I was just calling to see if maybe you knew where Kandyce was.”
“That’s a little… I dunno, stalker-ish, don’t you think, Graham?” she asked, and I could detect the sarcasm in her voice. “If I were honest, I’d think she didn’t want to talk to you.”
“Look, we had a falling out,” I admitted. “She just hasn’t been answering her phone, and it’s her birthday and all. I just really wanted to get in touch with her, you know.”
“That’s thoughtful of you.”
“Yeah. So yeah…” I expected her to say something back, but she was silent for a moment. I half-wondered if she had hung up on me. But then
“Well, I wish I could be of more help to you, Graham, but I don’t even know where she is. I haven’t seen her since about 5 PM today. Sorry.” Damn! Part of me wondered if Clarity was lying for her friend, but she certainly sounded genuine.
“She’s not there with you?” I asked again.
“Nope, she’s not with me. I’m not even at my apartment, though,” Clarity admitted. “I’m still on campus, actually. Camped out in the library.” I chuckled at that. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing,” I replied. “Just… you’re always in the library. I never really see you out that much.”
“Is there something wrong with that?”
“Not at all. I just remember that’s how you were even back a few years ago, always so studious and stuff. I admired that. I don’t know if I ever told you.”
“I don’t think you did. But thanks. I appreciate that. Well, again, I’m in the library, so… probably not a good idea for me to be on the phone while I’m in here.”
“You’re right,” I agreed. “Yeah, I’ll let you go.” Just then, a very random thought flashed through my head.
“Clarity?”
“Yep?”
“You wouldn’t happen to know where Stokely is, would you?” Again, she went silent. I couldn’t blame her, because I knew how random – paranoid even – the question may have seemed. But the thought had suddenly occurred to me that I hadn’t heard from Stokes at all today. And since I hadn’t been able to reach Kandyce, either…
“He’s with me.” she said abruptly.
“What?” I asked, not sure if I had heard her right.
“Stokely’s here in the library with me.”
“Well, can I talk to him?”
“He went off somewhere,” she replied. “I promise I’ll have him call you as soon as he comes back.”
“Alright, that’s fine. Thanks again, Clarity.”
“No problem. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help.” Yeah, I am, too, I couldn’t help thinking.
“It happens,” I told her. “Bye.” She hung up before I did.
Almost immediately on instinct, I wanted to call Stokely. I actually felt bad about it, too, being suspicious of my best friend like that. But there was something I just couldn’t shake. I feel like I’m missing something, I thought. Surely, Stokely could help me figure out what that “something” is… I dialed his number.
“Please leave your message for… Stokely Night!…”
I hung up before the voicemail message even finished. Got damn voicemail! I couldn’t help thinking. That’s the one common thread about everything tonight. What a fucked-up night this was turning out to be. I sighed deeply and shook my head, then slid back open the glass porch door.
“Well, bro?” Vincent asked as soon as I was back inside. There were equally anxious looks on all the guys’ faces.
“Clarity didn’t answer her phone,” I told him with a shrug, and my frat brothers all groaned.
“GSU chicks,” Frankie said, shaking his head. “They’re always on some other stuff.”
I sat back down and joined the guys. I wasn’t sure if I had lied about Clarity for their benefit or mine. But for sure, I felt horrible. I felt something I hadn’t felt in years, like my stomach had just bottomed out and my mouth was dry. Kandyce was really being cold to me, and for no… okay, maybe she had a reason to be that way, but this was going too far. Not even talking to me on her birthday? Not even returning my calls? Kandyce was tripping hard. And here I was, sitting with my frat feeling sick. And for what? A “break.” Not even a break-up…
“Graham!” a voice suddenly called, pulling me out of my thoughts. I blinked, then looked around the room. Again, all my frat brothers were looking at me.
“What?” I asked them.
“Dawg,” Lloyd started. “We’ve been trying to get your attention for a minute. Your phone rang.“
“Huh?” I felt my eyebrows furrow as I tried to process what Lloyd had said. My phone rang? Oh! I didn’t even bother trying to hide my excitement in front of them. I turned to the side and snatched up my phone from beside me on the arm of the couch. I checked my missed call. When I saw who it was, my jaw dropped before I was able to catch it.
