After the Reign Has Ended…

Faithful readers and those of you new to the Kandy Reign Khronicles, greetings. I wanted to extend a huge thank you to all of you who have had an opportunity to follow me and the characters on this journey. However, all good things come to an end…

If you’ve been wondering why I stopped posting, or if I’m leaving you hanging… well, it just might be a little bit of the latter. I’ve opted to take White (k)Night and turn in into a complete novel; and in embarking upon this, I decided early this year, that I would stop posting any part of the story after Act II, that my readers would have to wait until I got published before they could see Act III. So I am currently crafting the next Intermission/Enter the Mission chapter for the story, which I WILL post here, and then after that, we’ll just have to wait and see if a publisher is willing to take a chance on me.

I promise I’ll do everything in my power not to let you all down, though. I do intend, once I complete writing Kandy Reign in full, to hustle, hustle, hustle out to publishers and try to get this work put out somewhere. In the meantime, hang tight, tell your friends if you can/spread the word about the blog, and thanks so very much. Y’all made it worth every word.
With kindest regards,

Bradford J. Howard, Author

White (k)Night: The Kandy Reign Khronicles

BIGGER BANG – ACT TWO Finale (Pt. II)

—

“I guess I was just confused as to why you were even at the party at the first place, Wendy. Damn! Do you any idea how awkward of a position that was for me? Because Kandyce was there, too, you know? And she told me y’all work together? Did you know that?”

“I don’t know,” Wendy said on the other end of the line. “Possibly.”

“Possibly?” I repeated, starting to get irritated. “Wendy, I need you to understand. I was literally just arguing with my girl… hell, I don’t even know if she is still my girl after this shit, but I was arguing with her because she saw me talking to you.”

It was now 2:30 in the morning. The party was still going on, but seeing as how we’d only rented out The Spotlight until 3, it was starting to die down. I’d called Wendy on the phone since I hadn’t seen her anywhere in the club since we’d talked at the bar earlier.

“Graham,” Wendy started, “you know we’re cool. But to be honest, that’s not my problem. You’re the one with the girlfriend, not me.”

“Um, apparently, I’m not,” I fired back. “What was Mike talking about? You’re his girlfriend?”

“Why does that even matter?” Wendy asked, sounding defensive. “Look, it’s not like when we were doing our thing, we were official. And truth be told, I’m not a ‘I’ll see you when I see you’ type chick. What we had was fun while we had it, but I wanted and DESERVED more. I don’t even know why I’m explaining myself to you, but… I met Mike one night back in January when he came through the club where Kandy and I work. I was, umm, waiting his table and he was dropping lines, and I liked what he was telling me. We went out one time and it kind of just went from there.”

I can’t even lie – I was certainly jealous that it seemed Wendy had moved on from me, and with one of the Kappa Neos, no less. Even worse, I couldn’t blame it on his new letters because the two of them had clearly hooked up beforehand. It was interesting to say the least. I’d never taken Wendy for the type to even want a relationship, at least one beyond one night stands, I thought. As far as I knew, she’d certainly never caught feelings for me. So how’d she end up liking Mike?

“Hello?” she called out, jerking me out of my thought process. “Graham, you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m here. Just thinking.”

“I could tell. You didn’t correct me this time about calling your girlfriend ‘Kandy.’” I could only reply to that with a heavy sigh. “Look, it’s not like I’m going to tell her about me and you. She’s a sweet girl, especially compared to her soror… Ja-Not or whatever her name was. And you and I are cool. Regardless of what you might think of me, I DO have morals, and I wouldn’t do something like that.”

“I appreciate that,” I told her.

“Okay, well… I’m kind of tired, so I’ll talk to you later. Okay?”

“Maybe.”

“Bullshit, Graham. You know your ass is going to be calling me like usual.” She laughed her mischievous laugh on the other end of the line. “Bye.”

With that, Wendy hung up the phone, leaving me to my own thoughts. I ran a hand over my bald head. I couldn’t tell what was happening with me and Kandyce. It was like one minute, we were good, and the next, we were just… existing. I cared about her, but I didn’t want to just “exist.” At the same time, I was angry with her. Kandyce had shown me her true colors tonight arguing with me in the club. Most chicks just don’t understand how much of a deal-breaker that can be for guys, for the girl they care about to be so insecure. I understood that females could compete all the time, but damn. Ask ME the questions instead of assuming for yourself. And it seemed like Kandyce had wanted to tell me something before Stokely had dropped that beer bottle… but what?

I sighed heavily. I checked all the stalls in the bathroom to make sure no one had been around to hear me on the phone, then went back out into the club.

“… She be jumpin’ up and down tryin’ ta’ fit that ass in/ Took her half an hour just to get that belt to fasten/ All they want to talk about is partyin’ and fashion/ Every single night, I have a dream that I am smashin’ them alll…”

I walked back into a crowd of people getting extremely hype to the song that was playing now, “Every Girl” by the rap group Young Money. The thumping bass of the song contributed to the high I was already experiencing from the drinks I’d had throughout the night, but I wanted more. I wanted to lose myself, to lose my thoughts, and just release all my frustration somewhere. I wanted to talk to Kandyce, to tell her I was sorry, to ask her what she wanted to tell me, to shout at her until I was blue in the face that we just weren’t going to work if she didn’t trust me.

Excuse the HELL out of me if you aren’t giving me reasons to trust you! Kandyce’s words echoed in my head. But what reasons did she need? I mean, damn, it wasn’t like I had cheated on her. The most I’d done was talk to Wendy about us… and maybe on the sly, I’d flirted a bit with Je’Nah, but I hadn’t done anything. Damn, man! I thought. As a waitress walked by carrying a tray of Jello shots in test tubes, I grabbed one shot off of the tray. I motioned to pay for it, but the waitress just kept on walking like she hadn’t even felt me take it. Oh, well, I thought, and I downed the shot.

“Oh, shit!” I exclaimed aloud. I hadn’t expected the shot to taste so bitter. Damn! Or maybe it wasn’t the shot but the shot mixing in with everything else I had drunk thus far. I made my way back out onto the dance floor and blended in with the crowd. Again, I looked around. But the person I was looking for was nowhere to be found.

***

“… And I don’t know how fake feels, so I just gotta keep it real/ I just want to fuck every girl in the world, every model, every singer, every actress, every diva/ Every House of Diddy chick, every college girl, every skeezer…”

“Je’Nah!” I shouted, pulling her out of the Delta strut line as they came in my direction. She stumbled out and looked at me crazy.

“Who tha’ fuc- oh, it’s you,” she said. “What’s up, what you want?”

“I’m trying to find Clarity!” I shouted.

“Why are you so damn loud, though?! I can’t hear you.”

“That’s why I’m talking so loud, Je’Nah! So you can hear me over the music!”

“Ohhhh!” Je’Nah replied, still bouncing her body around to the beat of the music. “Why you lookin’ for Clarity?”

“I don’t feel so good,” I said into her ear. “I think I, I think I had too much to drink. I’m kind of out of it.” For a minute, it seemed like the world was getting blurry. I blinked twice, and then everything was clear again.

“Well, just chill at the bar, okay?” Je’Nah told me. “I don’t know where Clare is, but I will take care of you and all as soon as this song is over. Okay?”

“What?!” I asked her. I was getting a little dizzy now, and she was becoming harder to hear.

“I said, I’ll come back for you after this song finishes!” she shouted over the music. “Okay?”

“Okay!”

Je’Nah took me by the hand and led me back over to the bar, then helped me to sit down on a bar stool. When she was sure I was secure, she went back out into the crowd. I raised a hand to my forehead and shook my head again. I felt horrible for some reason. I didn’t even really think I had drank that much over the course of the night, honestly. There were definitely many other parties that I’d had a LOT more alcohol at. I tried to recall what all I’d been sipping on that night, but the only thing I could distinctly remember was Graham, fighting with Graham and drinking his drink to spite him. But what had we been fighting over? I thought. And why had I wanted to make him angry? Some girl. But I couldn’t even really remember who the girl was.

I leaned into the bar stool until my back was up against the bar. Damn! I was really feeling out of it. At that moment, I really wanted nothing more than to fall into Graham’s arms. But he was nowhere to be found. Or maybe it would have been easier to find him if I wasn’t so gotdamn drunk. Shit.

***

“Alright, y’all, it’s a Kappa party,” the DJ suddenly announced, interrupting the song that had been playing. “And y’all know that when it finishes to come… I’m sorry, when it comes to finishing, heh, the GSU Nupes do it for the ladies. So, here comes that slow shii…” The DJ trailed off and scratched a record for effect. Then

“It’s your birthday, so I know you want to riii-ide out/ Even if we only go to myyyy house/ Sip mo-weezy as we sit up on myyy couch/ Feels good, but I know you want to cryyyy out…”

The whole atmosphere of the club changed as the soft pulse and anticipating drums of the singer Jeremih’s song “Birthday Sex” started playing. It was the ultimate slow jam, the perfect close to an epic night. Everyone on the dance floor started pairing up. Guys pulled girls into them seductively, girls gave in and fell into the guys’ embraces. Bodies flowed in tune with the beat around me. And there I stood, in the center of the dance floor, drunker than I knew what and all alone.

I suddenly felt two soft arms wrap around my waist from behind me. I had sense enough to look down and make sure the hands were feminine looking; sure enough, the hands on my abs were well-manicured and wearing hot-pink nail polish. The girl behind me started swaying me to the beat from behind. Ordinarily, that wasn’t my style, but since I was feeling good, I moved with her for a minute.

“… Girl,you know I-I-I/ Girl, you know I-I-I/ I’ve been feenin’/ in the late night…dreamin’ about your lovin’/ Girl, you know I-I-I/ Girl, you know I-I-I…”

I took advantage of the chorus to take the girl’s hands in mine, dip down, and, holding her hands above me, spin around to where I could turn to face her. I certainly hoped it would be Kandyce. The lights had dimmed in the club now, and it was hard to tell who the girl was somewhat, but I hoped it was Kandyce. And, like I said, I was feeling good behind the alcohol and I wanted to dance just as much as she did, so I indulged her, let my hands trace their way down her waist and rest comfortably on her hips. She pressed herself into me and started winding her body up against me; I could feel her nipples getting hard up against my chest. Rather than go for the typical grab-her-ass move, I let my fingers walk up her bare back, placed my hands on her shoulders as I started grinding into her. I heard her breath catch, took that as my cue to hold her a little closer, work her a little bit harder.

***

“… See you sexy and them jeans got me on 10/ 1-2-3… think you got me pinned/ Don’t tap out, fight until the ennd/ Ring that bell, we gon’ start over a-gainn…”

“Kandyce?” I heard my name, but I couldn’t see who was saying it. I couldn’t tell if the club was just dark or if my eyes were closed or what.

“Kandyce?” the voice called out again. This time, I recognized it. I tried to sit up. I felt like was I standing up but still sitting down. My head was on full-out Tilt-A-Whirl.

Stokely? So disoriented, I couldn’t tell if I’d said his name aloud or had just been thinking it.

“Yeah, it’s me. Are you okay?”

No, not really. Not feeling too good. Think it was something I drank. Can’t remember what…

“Damn, Kandyce. You look pretty plastered. Do you want me to take you home?”

Please. Feel like I have a fever and… I felt myself lurch forward, felt my mouth open but nothing came out. I swallowed hard. It felt like I was being lifted up somewhere, like my arm was being draped over someone’s shoulder.

“I’ll get you out of here, alright? I’ll get you home.”

Home… Lights around me were flickering now, couldn’t tell if that was the lighting in the club or me blinking intermittently. I was moving kind of fast. One minute, I heard traffic, car horns; the next minute, I was sitting on something soft, heard a door slam and the traffic sounds disappeared.

***

“… We grindin’ with pass-sion/ ’cause it’s your birth-day/ Been at it for hourrrs, I know you thir-sty/ You kiss me, so sweetly/ Taste just like Hershey’s/ Just tell me how you want yo’ gift…”

We’d switched positions now. She was facing away and pressing her tight ass up into me, head back against my chest and an arm wrapped around my neck. Her fingernails gently clawed at the middle of my neck. Shit was hypnotic. I looked down into the girl’s face and she looked up at me. Eyes black as midnight. She wasn’t Kandyce.

“Je’Nah?” The name left my lips almost at the same time as it passed through my mind.

“Yeah.” I saw her lips move in the dim lighting. Then she craned her neck a little bit, lifted her head up towards me and stuck out her tongue. I knew what she wanted. She was daring me, I thought. I had never been the type to back down. And I wasn’t going to start now…

***

Stopping after having been moving for what seemed like forever. My feet back on solid ground.

“Kandyce, step up.”

I can’t. Feeling myself being lifted up off the ground. Rising up… up… up…

“Where are your housekeys?”

There’s blood on my knees?

“No, your keys, Kandyce. Where are the keys to your apartment?”

Oh. Inside pocket of my clutch purse. Back down on solid ground. The sound of a door opening. A click. White light that almost knocks me back because it’s so gotdamn bright. Brought back into the dark and lowered onto something soft. Head throbbing like someone’s hitting my skull repeatedly with a hammer. Bright white light again. I wince.

Damn it, Stokely! Turn on my lamp, don’t use the big light!

“My bad. Hold on.” The room goes dark again. Another click, and the room lights up with a softer, almost orange light. Feels like I can’t move my body at all. Mental note to never, ever drink again for as long as I live. The bed sinks near my legs.

“How are you feeling?”

Like shit. Head’s pounding. Can’t tell if I want to throw up or pass out.

“Damn, Kandyce. What did you do tonight?”

I don’t remember. I honestly felt like I was losing my memory by the second. If I didn’t go to sleep soon, this whole night would be a blank slate. Eyes closing.

“Kandyce! Kandyce, wake up!” My eyes dart back open. Vision’s a little blurry, but I can see Stokely’s eyes barely two inches from mine.

Nigga, let me sleep. Damn.

“No. I’m not letting you sleep until I figure out what’s wrong with you. What did you do tonight?”

If I tell you, will you let me sleep?

“Yeah.” I sigh deeply. I drift back into my head, try to replay all that happened from the probate on. All that comes to mind is

Graham

“Graham? What about him? What’d he do?”

We fought. Suddenly, that memory starts taking shape. Angry at him because of this girl he was with. Some chick I know from work. I drank whatever he had been holding. Think it was after that, that I started feeling bad.

“Shit! Mike was right…”

What? He rose up off the bed. I felt my heels being taken off. Felt my belt buckle being undone. But I couldn’t move.

Stokely? What are you doing?

***

What was I doing? I thought, as Je’Nah’s tongue practically fought with mine. She ran her fingers over my bald head, let her hands go down my body until she was unbuttoning my suit jacket. It had all happened so fast. One minute, we’d been dancing together to that “Birthday Sex” song. The next minute, we were in the back seat of my car, rubbing the hell out of each other. Then we’d started kissing. Then…

“Don’t think about it,” she said, finally breaking away from me.

“I’m not,” I told her, sliding a hand up under her skirt and kissing her on her neck.

“Goo-ooooood!” Je’Nah moaned. She undid the button on my dress pants and I pulled them back. I felt her wrap her legs around me. I kissed my way down from her neck to the space between her breasts. She reached behind her for her purse on the floor, nibbling on my ear all the while. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that she’d taken a condom out and was ripping the packaging open. In that second, shit got real.

***

In that second, shit got real. I felt cold, probably because my legs were exposed now. My pants and heels were off. I was fading in and out. Couldn’t tell what was going on. I felt my shirt being pulled up over my head.

Stokely, what are you doing? I managed to say. At least, I thought I’d said it. When the fabric came up off my eyes and I could see again, Stokely was on top of me. I could make out that he was unbuttoning his shirt. A flash of memory. The night of my birthday. Stokely kissing me, me pulling away, probably a lot later than I should have. The awkward silence after. Me sending him home.

What are you doing?

“Kandyce, I think… roof… sweat… might black out…” I heard him, but I didn’t hear him. Saw his mouth moving, but couldn’t hear anything.

“Trust me,” was the last thing I heard him say. “I would never hurt you.”

***

“Trust me,” was the last thing I heard her say. She’d whispered it into my my ear after the last of her screams had died down. “I would never hurt you.” Her body shuddered against me. Aftershocks, no doubt. I sat back up in the back seat of the car, assessed the damage. It was kind of like I knew what had happened, but I kind of didn’t. I had a splitting headache now. Damn it! I thought. I’m never drinking again. I say that all the time, but this time, I mean it!

I leaned back against the back seat, let my hands fall to my sides. My right hand fell upon damp skin. Damp skin on a toned leg. My eyebrow furrowed. My mind tried to piece the night together again. It was kind of like I knew what had happened, but I kind of didn’t. Or maybe I just didn’t want to admit anything to myself. That’s when I looked over at the body on the seat beside me. That’s when I pulled the strand of her hair aside and took a good look at her face. My heart felt like it was tied to an anvil as it sank to the bottom of my stomach.

“What the fuck did I just do?”

***

“What the fuck did I just do?” I did the right thing, I told myself as I left Kandyce’s bedroom. I KNOW I did the right thing. I looked back at her one more time as she lay asleep on the bed now. I was almost tempted to go over and kiss her on the forehead or something, but it just didn’t seem right. I already felt enough like I had taken advantage of her. I gently lifted my dress shirt off of Kandyce and slid it back on to my body, closed her bedroom door and made my way through the living room of the apartment to the front door.

It was right when I had placed a hand on the doorknob, that I noticed that the TV was on. The TV hadn’t been on when I had first brought Kandyce back into her apartment. I looked back. There, sitting on the couch and looking straight at me… there sat Clarity. I was certain the shock on her face was nothing compared to the look of utter surprise on mine. Her eyes darted from me, to Kandyce’s room, to me again. The night had been tiring, and bringing Kandyce home had peaked my exhaustion.

“What happened?” Clarity asked me. There was a look in her eyes that I’d never seen before… a look like she didn’t trust me or, worse, a look like fear.

“I brought Kandyce home,” I told her simply. That was all I could muster. I couldn’t bother explaining everything to her. She’d never understand, I thought. If my suspicions were true, if I was right in thinking that Clarity had somehow caught FEELINGS for me, then I just KNEW she would have made up her mind about what had happened. When Clarity had her mind made up about something, the only person who could change it was Clarity. I couldn’t blame her. What other assumption could you make when you saw the guy you liked walking out of your best friend’s room, in a half-unbuttoned shirt at that?

I saw the sadness in Clarity’s eyes. Not that I owed her anything, but she deserved to know what had happened, and I would tell her, but not tonight. At another time, when my thoughts were more coherent, when I was sure I could tell everything right.

“Good night,” I said. Clarity didn’t reply; she just rose up off the couch and walked over to where I was by the door, the sad look in her eyes staying on me the whole while. She reached for the doorknob and touched my hand instead. She lifted my hand off the doorknob, then walked around to the other side of me and opened the door. I honored Clarity’s silent wish and left the apartment.

———–

The following Wednesday afternoon, April 1. And truth be told, I really was kind of feeling like an April fool myself. Just under a week had passed since the night of “The Big Bang,” since the night I’d become a Kappa. I remembered everything about that night – the probate, the party, Graham and Kandyce’s argument in the club, and driving Kandyce home. The problem was that, I couldn’t remember what had happened AFTER I’d arrived at her apartment. As far as I knew, I had dropped her off at her place and went straight back home. And then Kandyce had hit me up the next morning with a simple Thanx 4 bringing me home last night text on my phone. I’d seen her throughout the week, since this current week was the “Krimson & Kream” week that our Kappas were co-hosting a week full of events with the Deltas; but it seemed like Kandyce had been trying to avoid talking to me, and I had no clue why.

But truth be told, it was Clarity I was more worried about. Just thinking about her caused me to check my phone on instinct. Of course, yesterday, the 31st, had been the day of the student forum with the Vice-President of Student Affairs. The forum had been held at 2 PM in the afternoon…at the same time as the Kappas & Deltas were supposed to have been hosting a pool party at the Timeless Meadows student apartment complex. As a Neo, I couldn’t miss the event. As a friend, I couldn’t bear to face Clarity. It hurt to choose. I was certainly just as passionate an advocate for the OAASS&P funding as Clarity was. But in this particular case, Kappa was more important. I didn’t even bother calling her to tell her I wouldn’t make it just because I knew how she’d react. I felt horrible about it, honestly, but I knew Clarity would understand. She had to understand.

Three voicemails had ended up on my phone between yesterday and today, three voicemails and two text messages. My Cowardly Lionass only bothered to look at the texts. One read, I can’t believe you. How u could do this to Black GSU? To me, even? The other, I’m not even surprised. They all change when they get a jacket. It was the second text message that I kept going back to and reading foolishly, like it might change to something more positive with a second, or third… or thirteenth glance; it never did. But I HADN’T betrayed GSU’s Black community, I told myself. I had merely shifted my priorities. As soon as this week was over, I’d shift them back.

“Graham!” Lloyd barked, pulling me out of my thoughts and back into the present. “This wood ain’t gon’ carry itself. Dawg, can we get a little help?”

Today’s event was a community service project. We’d invited members of Black GSU, but really, the entire university community, to join us in doing some re-beautification of a park in inner-city Atlanta. Graham had opted not to come out for it.

“Yeah!” I called back. “I’m coming.” I looked down at my phone one last time, pulled up the Contacts tab, scrolled down to Clarity’s name.

“Dawg!” Lloyd shouted at me again. “Bring yo’ ass! Damn!”

“Alright, alright!”

With a heavy sigh, I closed the Contacts window, and returned my phone to my back jeans pocket. I’d talk to her at another time, I assured myself. When I’d have more time to explain things, when my thoughts were more coherent, I’d talk to her. But not today. Another day. I couldn’t shake the feeling that some time not so long ago, I’d thought similar thoughts.

***

“I just feel like…” Lisa started, then trailed off.

“You feel like what, Lisa?”

“Kandyce, it’s really not my place to say…”

“Well, hell, you brought it up, girl!”

My sorority sister Lisa and I were camped out resting on the stoop of a nearby apartment building close to the park we had been working on for the joint community service. Between the hot sun outside and spending so much time shoveling and laying out a new garden to surround the park, my hair was an absolute mess now. The things we do for our Brothers, I thought. I sure hoped the community appreciated it, though. Even though the work had been hard, it felt good to be able to give back something to Atlanta. It reminded me of why I had pledged Delta in the firstplace, so I could feel like I was serving a greater cause, a larger purpose.

“Okay, look, you didn’t hear this from me, okay?” Lisa asked, an unmistakable anxiety in her voice.

“Okay. Well?” I prodded her.

“Kandyce, a few people saw Graham and Je’Nah together at the afterparty.”

“That’s not that big of a deal. They’re frat brother and sister. Of course they’d be spotted together.”

“No, no, you’re not hearing me.” Lisa leaned her head down like what she had to tell me wasn’t meant to be shared even with the air around us. I raised an eyebrow at her, but indulged her and leaned in towards her.

“Graham and Je’Nah were together,” she repeated. “Like dancing together, to the last song.” My heart skipped a beat. Immediately, certain thoughts ran through my head; I shook them all away. My own memory of the night of the afterparty had been pretty fuzzy. The most I remembered was blacking out after fighting with Graham. Then I had woke up in my bed the next morning. But Graham wouldn’t have done me like that. He knew better, I told myself.

“Oh, well,” I told Lisa, trying to play it off like I wasn’t even bothered by it. “It’s just a dance. Besides, by that time, I was pretty busted, I think.” I added a laugh at the end of my statement to sell it, but the laugh had come out sounding real nervous.

“Okay, well,” Lisa continued, “after the last song, they left the Spotlight together. We actually looked for Je’Nah for a minute, you know? Called her cell phone and everything, and she never answered. I stayed behind a bit longer than everyone else, because I thought she had maybe passed out or wandered off. You know how Je’Nah can be when she’s under the influence.”

“Lisa, where’s this going?” I asked her, starting to get irritated with her dragging this out. If she had something to say, I thought, I wish she would just hurry up and put it out there. Damn!

“Well, shortly after, I saw Je’Nah and Graham walking together away from the club. They left together in Graham’s car. And I’m not trying to be that girl that stirs up shit between y’all, but… I saw them kiss.” An alarm went off in my head. Something warned me to ignore it. I followed that warning.

“Didn’t you say everyone was kinda out of it that night? Maybe you were just seeing things, Lisa.” I suggested. Just then, Je’Nah walked up to where we were sitting. It took EVERYTHING in me not to look at her and, consequently, give away what Lisa had told me.

“What’s up, y’all?” Je’Nah greeted us with a smile. Lisa damn near hopped up off of the stoop and scurried away. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Je’Nah watch Lisa run away, watched a confused expression spread across her face. She took Lisa’s place and sat down beside me on the stoop.

“What’s up with her?” Je’Nah asked. You know damn well what’s up with her! I wanted to shout, but I stopped myself.

“Did you fuck him?” Couldn’t stop that from coming out, though. I’d asked the question while I was looking down at the ground, because I just knew just looking Je’Nah in the face, I’d know the answer.

“Whoa, whoa. Hold up.” Je’Nah threw her head left then right, as though she was looking around. “Who are you talking to?”

“Ain’t nobody else here.”

“K, I’m a little concerned about you right now…”

“I’m actually concerned about YOU, Je’Nah.” At that point, I decided to look up. I felt my eyes getting wet. My heart told me it couldn’t be true. My heart told me Lisa had just been seeing things. My mind, which had always, it seemed, been betting against Graham, told me the truth was right in front of me.

“Answer my question,” I told her. “Did you fuck him?”

“Kandyce, I SWEAR I have no clue-”

“You fucked my boyfriend.” I spat out. “You fucked Graham the night of the probate.” Je’Nah’s mouth fell open. Her face contorted like what I’d said had taken her aback. But her eyes gave her away. I closed my eyes tight.

“Kandyce, look-” she started but never finished. My knuckles were suddenly throbbing. The whole world around me had gone red. Je’Nah’s head snapped back. She covered her mouth and nose with a hand.

“Okay,” I heard her say, though her voice was muffled behind her hands. “Okay. If that’s how you want to be, then fine. Yes, Kandyce… actually, NO, Kandyce, Graham fucked me. He fucked me hard. He called me your name while we were having sex in the back of his car once, but I changed that up quick. You don’t deserve him.

“Oh, and before you throw that fist you have raised at me, you should know that I KNOW. I found out Kandyce, that the girl in our chapter who had some interesting night activities… it turns out that trick was right under my nose all along. Think about that. Not only do you already have a reputation for fighting in public now, but you might have another reputation for bringing shame on the GSU Deltas. You want to fight me? Remember who has the upper hand.”

She finally pulled her hand away from her mouth and nose; her nose was bleeding, but she was grinning hard. So many emotions coursed through me in that one moment. I had never been one to take action without thinking. Yet the only thought on my mind at that moment… was that while Je’Nah may have had the upper hand, I for damn sure had the heavier one. And just like that, the upper hand met my uppercut.

To be Konkluded…

BIGGER BANG: ACT TWO Finale (Pt. I)

“… Twenty-six inches, chick, I’m sittin’ crooked/ Old-school Chevy/ Faster than the silver bullet/ Strawberry paint, seats vanilla puddin’/ Two chicks, gon’ and eat each others’…/ Top chopped, sent tha’ car to the barbershop…”

“Okay, listen up, listen up!” I shouted to everyone in the VIP area, rising up from the dark red pleather couch to my feet and raising a glass of champagne. I was worried that no one had heard me at first, because the DJ had the rapper Lil’ Wayne and Birdman’s song, “Always Strapped,” practically booming all over the club; and plus, everyone around the table seemed to be having their own conversations. But all eyes almost immediately looked up at me. Two whole hours had passed since all we’d brought all the new Kappas out in the Student Union; and we and damn near everyone else was now here at The Spotlight, a nightclub in downtown Atlanta, for “The Big Bang,” our probate afterparty.

“So I think it’s important for me to propose a toast,” I continued, “to my Neo-”

“Wait, wait, stop the presses!” Earl cut me off, and he stood up on his side of the table. “Graham, nigga, you say ‘your Neo’ like YOU brought ‘em in!”

“I brought THIS guy in,” I corrected him. “Now, sit your ass down and let me finish! Damn.” The guys and girls around the table all erupted in laughter. Earl returned to his seat on the couch on the other side.

“So like I was saying, I want to give a toast to my Neo. This man right here… he sometimes says a lot of shit that goes over our heads, but more importantly, he says a lot of things we’re often afraid to say. I’ve known this man ever since I first came to GSU, man. And while I always saw him like a brother, I’m glad today to be able to actually CALL him one. So to my best friend and y’all’s Brother and mine, the man who, like always, took on most of the work for everyone else, Stokely NUPE, the Kardiac Arrest… the pride of the Spring 2009 Konspiracy Theory line!”

“Here, here!” All the guys and girls around the table piped up, raising their glasses in the air and looking over in my direction, where Stokely was seated next to me. I looked down at him and couldn’t help grinning. It was overdue, for sure, but Stokely was finally what he’d always wanted to be: a Kappa Man. This night was his, and I wasn’t going to let anything take away from that. Stokely looked up at me and nodded as though in a gesture of appreciation.

“I’m proud of you, man,” I told him, extending a fist so we could exchange a pound.

“Alright, enough of that sappy shit!” Vincent slurred, rising up to his feet. “Since we’rrre all shouting out our new boysss, it’s only fair for me to give a toast to MY Neo, too.”

“Niggas just claiming niggas out here like this is the pet store,” Earl remarked, eliciting laughter from everyone around the table again.

“Nah, but forreal, though… forreal real, though,” Vincent continued, like he hadn’t heard Earl at all, “I want to make a toast to my boy, the real pride of the Konspiracy Theory line. This cat was up all night, available any time when I needed him for something, the cat who never dropped his Kappa cane from day one… reppin’ that deuce spot just like me, my nigga Mike Mart aka SeKKond Offense!” Everyone raised our glasses, but as we looked around, we saw that Mike was nowhere to be found.

“Yo’ Neo ain’t even over here, man!” Earl complained with a laugh.

“Wha..? He was JUST riiiigh’ here, dog! Where did this cat…? Damn, man!” I scanned the crowd of people outside on the larger dance floor and easily spotted the crisp white dress shirt, dark red bowtie, and big diamond earrings in the crowd that Mike had worn for the probate.

“Hey, Vince. Your Neo’s out there, bro,” I told him, walking over to Vincent and spinning him around so that he could see Mike, who was now sandwiched between two girls on the dance floor.

“I’ll be damned,” Vincent said. “This nigga…lemme go get this-”

“Man, Vince, relax, bro,” Lloyd suddenly piped up. “Let that man celebrate his new status tonight. Stokely, go join your line brother. This is y’all’s night, man. Go enjoy that shit… because we’ll be putting y’all asses on the GRIND come Monday.” With a wary smile, Stokely nodded at Lloyd’s request.

“See y’all later,” Stokely addressed everyone as he excused himself, then stopped short to turn back to the young lady in the mini-dress who had been sitting next to him. “And it was nice meeting you.” She gave him a wide smile in return, and you could easily see him blushing as he walked off. Almost as soon as Stokely had made it out of the VIP section, Vincent burst out laughing.

“Did y’all hear thaaaaaat nigga, man?” he asked, seemingly to no one in particular because his eyes were still on the dance floor area. “Talkin’ about… ’twas nice meeting you. Haaa! Denise, you ain’t need all that extra shit, did you?”

“I actually thought it was kinda sweet,” Denise, the girl in the mini-dress, replied coolly.

“Man, chill, girl, I was just playyyyin. Damn! Go buy a humor of sense or some shit.” Vincent laughed his drunken laugh again.

“Well, on that note, we should probably go, huh?” Denise asked, looking at the other girls around the table with us. They all nodded in agreement and rose up one by one from their seats.

“Aw, man, don’t be like that, girl!” Earl complained, playfully holding onto the arm of the girl who had been sitting with him. “You can’t leave me because of this rude nigga’s comments, man. Y’all know some niggas can’t hold their liquor!” The girl simply shrugged and pulled away from Earl. Within seconds, it was just us guys again.

“Damn, man!” Earl started up again. “This is why I can’t STAND when yo’ ass drink, Vince! Shit! That’s probably the only easy, in-our-actual-palms access we’ll have all night!”

“Hey, I doubt that, though, bro,” Vincent replied.

“Oh, really?” Earl asked.

“Yessssh, really.”

***

“… Ball ’til ya’ fall, stuntin’ them paper plates/ Throwin’ hundreds on them hoes while we eatin’ steaks/ We in the club poppin’ bottles like ‘erry day/ We grind for the shine/ Brotha gettin’ big money…”

“Man, this party is ca-razy!” Je’Nah exclaimed, taking a sip from her Long Island iced tea and bouncing along to the music. We were camped out at the bar near the front doors of The Spotlight nightclub. Truthfully, the only reason Je’Nah was around was to “fill up” before going back out to join the strut line out on the dance floor that Kandyce was already taking part in.

“Eh, it’s alright,” I remarked. Je’Nah looked at me out the side of her eye.

“Clarity, why are you always such a KILLJOY?” Je’Nah whined. “Damn. Just enjoy the damn party. I know at the least, you gotta be happy for your boy Stokely.”

“Hmph. I’ve done my part. I came and supported him.” I took a long drink from my own Amaretto Sour and looked out at the dance floor. I tried to discreetly scan the room for Stokely; I saw many sets of white dress shirts and red bowties, but not a single one of them was connected to Stokely.

“Clare, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were jealous!” I looked over at Je’Nah with a raised eyebrow.

“Umm, what?” I asked.

“You heard me,” Je’Nah replied, smirking. “You sound jealous.”

“And what would I be jealous of, Je’Nah?” I couldn’t help asking.

“Oh, come on. It’s obvious. You’re probably mad that Stokely’s up on some bopper chick now when you want him to be up on you. You want Stokely. You’ve always wanted him. That’s why you called him last week.That’s why you called and told him to call Graham back because he was worried about Kandyce.” Before I could stop myself, my eyes darted over in Je’Nah’s direction. She had some fucking nerve! I thought. But how did she even KNOW about that phone call? I’d thought I’d been alone in the apartment when I had called Stokely… But I couldn’t let Je’Nah know I was surprised, couldn’t communicate in any way how taken aback I was by what she’d just said.

“And you want Graham,” I returned fire. “You’ve always wanted Graham, ever since you made out with him at that Kappa party your freshman year. Remember that?”

“Oh, don’t sit here and downtalk me like you’re a damned saint, Clarity.”

“I’m not, Je’Nah,” I spat back. “I was right there with you, remember? We were both… misguided in how to go about getting the things we wanted back then. But let’s be honest, you were just ONE good step away from being a part of those Buckhead girls. The only reason it didn’t happen, was because the Deltas made you clean up your act.”

“Bullshit, Clarity. You’re talking bullshit. Besides, you’re bringing up that Kappa party like it wasn’t years ago.”

“The party may have been years ago,” I conceded, “but I’m almost certain if I hadn’t cleared my throat and interrupted the two of you in the Student Union this past Tuesday, you would have done something trifling. You can’t even look me in the eyes behind that shit, can you?”

“So what?!” Je’Nah suddenly lashed out. “So fucking what if something WOULD have happened? They took a fucking break.Graham clearly isn’t trying to commit to anyone right now, especially not Kandyce. He knows he can do better.”

“He knows he can do better, huh? And you’re supposed to be her sorority sister. Supposed to be her good friend.” Suddenly, it was clear to me why Kandyce had told me about her other job but not Je’Nah. It always amazed me the lengths to which some girls would go just to satisfy themselves… even it meant stabbing their own friends in the back. Kandyce always saw the best in other people; she wasn’t naïve, she just wasn’t as careful when it came to her closer friends, or her sorority sisters, even. For a minute, Je’Nah and I stared each other down, each waiting for the other to make a move or say the wrong word. I had never been the fight-in-the-club type, but we’d both said some incendiary things to each other.

“I got a question/ Why they hatin’ on me?/ I got a question/ Why they hatin’ on me?/ I ain’t did nothin’ to ‘em but count this money/ And put my team on, and now my whole click stuntin’…”

We found our confrontation interrupted by the song that was now booming out into the club, “Turn My Swag On” by the rapper Soulja Boy. Je’Nah blinked, took the rest of her Long Island to the head, and placed her glass back down on the bar.

“This is my shit,” she informed me, “so we’ll continue this discussion later.” Je’Nah lifted two fingers in a sort of “peace sign,” then marched out onto the dance floor as a line of Deltas came strutting past us. I was all too welcome to be alone again. Truth be told, I really didn’twant to be at this Kappa party that much longer, because I was certain it would be only a matter of time before I’d run into the one person I didn’t want to see – Lloyd.

“FUCK BOYS!” I darted my head in the direction of the voice that had just shouted out.

“Vinnie, what’s wrong with you?” I asked Venezuela Sanchez, who had joined me at the bar and was now getting a beer from the bartender.

“This got damn guy,” she replied. She immediately lifted the beer bottle to her lips and started gulping the alcohol down like she was parched or something. I pulled her arm down and, consequently, the beer away from her lips.

“Hey, hey, calm that down. What damn guy?”

“Fucking Mikey, that damn guy!” She pointed the beer bottle over to the left. Looking in that direction, I saw Mike talking to some girl with dark brown hair, his hand under her chin and her smiling back at him. “He gets some fucking letters and now all of a sudden, he has some newgirl now? That damn guy.” She took another long drink of beer. Before I could get a good look at the girl, though, Mike had taken her hand in his and was leading her off to the other side of the room. Since I was already looking out in that direction anyway, I decided to sweep my eyes around the dance floor to look for Stokely again. Although I wanted to see Stokely, I was sure he, too, was indulging in the groupie spoils of his newfound status.

“Maybe you’re right, Vinnie,” I said, taking along sip from my Amaretto Sour. “Fuck boys.”

***

“… I’m back againnn/ I know a lot of y’all thought I wasn’t comin’ back/ (yeahhh, yeahhhh)/ I had to prove ‘em wrooong/ Got back in the studio, came up with another hit/ (yeaaah, yeahhh)…“

“Nigga, I brought my little friend along for tonight,” Vincent continued, and he started to reach into his dress pants’ pocket.

“Nigga, you better keep that shit in your pants, bro!” Lloyd joked. “We don’t play that homo shit!”

“Yeah!” Earl chimed in. “If you coming out, you better use your own damn closet.”

“Man, y’all, that’s some homo-philic bullshit, y’all,” Vincent replied, and I almost spat out my beer laughing.

“You mean homophobic?” Lloyd corrected him.

“Man, whatever, man, y’all knew what I meant! Anyway, like I was saying… I brought along some extra help for tonight, man. See?” When Vincent pulled his hand up out of his pocket, he was holding a miniature Ziploc bag containing some small white pills. My eyes damn near popped out of my head.

“Wait, wait. Vince, are those them Extendables? Those can’t-get-it-up pills?” Earl asked.

“Hell no, man!” Vincent replied. “Those are blue.” I burst out laughing at that.

“Dawg, I’m not even going to ask how you know that,” I started. “But are those… roofies? What the hell, Vince?!”

“Yeaaaa, buddy, that’s them deal sealers! Just in case, you know.”

“Just in case?” Earl repeated. “Vince, we’re fucking Kappas, bro. We don’t need ‘just in cases.’ You’re tripping, bro. You could get arrested for having that shit!”

“Heyyyy, I live the thug life, okay?” Vince said, brushing Earl’s comments aside. He opened up the plastic bag and pulled out one of the pills. “It’s just a deal sealer, y’all. It’s not like I intend on raping somebody or smashing with some chick who don’t want it.”

“Not at all,” I agreed sarcastically. “You’re just going to give her a little bit of motivation she won’t know about. Put that shit up, Vince. Seriously.”

“You guysss…”

“Hey, what’s up, y’all?” Mike had suddenly come back into the VIP area. Nobody do anything suspicious, I thought. Please, Lord, don’t let anybody do anything stupid.

“MIKE! My Neeeee-ooo!” Vincent said just a bit too excitedly, jumping up off the couch and extending a hand to Mike. Damn Vince’s drunk ass!

“You’re kinda happy to see him, ain’t you, Vince?” Earl asked, rolling his eyes.

“Ha, I appreciate it, though,” Mike said, as he reached out to shake Vincent’s hand. He had a nervous smile on his face. I couldn’t help wondering if he had seen or heard anything.

“What’s up, Mike?” I asked, shaking his hand as well.

“Well, to be honest, I just wanted to introduce y’all to somebody.” He turned back towards the doorway and made a sort of “come here” motion with his hands; as if on cue, this beautiful young lady with dark brown hair stepped into the VIP area. She was wearing this almost skintight blue mini-dress that seemed to be clinging for dear life to her chest and hips, and that easily brought attention to her toned legs.

“Damn!” Earl whispered. “How the hell did Mike Mart pull a chick THAT fucking bad?!”

My jaw, like the ones of all my frat brothers around the table, dropped to the floor. But it wasn’t because the girl was so damn gorgeous. She had always been gorgeous, especially when it came to showing up and showing out at a party. I was just trying to figure out how the hell she even KNEW Mike.

“Y’all,” Mike began, “I wanted y’all to meet my girlfriend. This is Wendy.” She sent smiles all around the table, but I noticed her smile flicker slightly as her eyes fell upon me. It had happened so quickly, the untrained eye would have never noticed it. Mike started making introductions around the table.

“… and this is Graham,” he said when he’d finally reached me. The look in her eyes said everything her face could not.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Wendy greeted, extending a hand. “Mike’s told me quite a bit about you.”

“Same here,” I replied, shaking her hand lightly.”Mike told me about you, but he never told me you were so beautiful.” Wendy blushed. “You look kind of familiar, though. Have I seen you somewhere before?”

“You never know,” she said, shrugging. “I don’t think so, but I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“Hey, don’t be trying to mack on my girl now, frat!” Mike jumped in with a laugh. On the sly, I looked around the table out of the corner of my eye. No one seemed to have noticed anything at all. It looked like Wendy and I had given Oscar-caliber performances. Or maybe no one was really checking for anything and I was just being paranoid.

“Well, I just wanted y’all to meet her,” Mike said again. “We’ll catch up with y’all again before the night ends.”

“It was nice meeting y’all!” Wendy said. Just before she turned back to walk out with Mike, though, she looked in my direction and mouthed, “we’ll talk later.” I tilted my head down slightly so she’d know I got her message. Then they left us.

“Dawg, it eludes me!” Earl exclaimed. “That Wendy girl was bad as HELL. What the fuck?!” Vincent laughed out loud.

“Because that’s myyyyy Neo, dawg!” Vincent said. “My Neo would pull the baddest chick in the whole damn club. That’s a testament to my big brotherhood right there. No, but for real… hey, y’all, I can’t find that pill I was holding.”

“What pill?” I asked. “The roofie?” Vincent nodded. “Man, that’s a good thing then, Vince. You didn’t need that mess anyway. It probably just fell on the floor…”

***

“So, you were looking pretty good up on that stage swinging that cane,” the girl to my left remarked. She ran a hand up and down my arm.

“Yeah, you really were,” the girl on my right agreed. “I wonder what other kind of tricks you’re capable of.” I looked at her, then at the girl to my left, then back to the girl on my right. I don’t even remember their names, I thought, feeling a bit ashamed. It was just an hour into the party now, and I’d already found myself cornered up against the wall by girls I had never known before, and possibly wouldn’t know again after tonight.

“I mean, truth be told,” the girl on my left started, leaning on her heels to where her lips were close to my ear, “I’d rather show you the tricks I’m capable of.” I tried not to let her words go to my head in either sense; that didn’t work, as the growing sensation I felt down below soon confirmed. I wondered why I was feeling so guilty, though. I mean, after all, I WAS single and I WAS a newly minted member of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Incorporated. After all I’d been through the past few weeks, I thought, didn’t I deserve a little fun? Yes, I did. Didn’t I?

“Man, what are you TRIPPING about,though?” I found my thoughts suddenly interrupted by a familiar voice heading in my direction. “Damn! This is exactly what I was talking about, how you don’t trust me.”

“Well, excuse the HELL out of me if you aren’t giving me reasons to trust you, Graham!” an even more familiar female voice blurted out. I was almost surprised I was able to hear them amidst all that was going on in the club. Their commotion caused the two girls by me to look over at them in disgust. I wasn’t sure whether to be thankful or a bit frustrated at them taking that attention away from me.

“Shit, Kandyce! I keep telling you, she’s an old friend,” Graham said. I finally looked over in the direction of their voices. They were standing on the other side of me against the wall now.

“Oh, really? Like Roxie was an old friend of yours, too?” Kandyce retorted. “What’s the matter, Graham? I’m too good for you? I’m not bad enough?”

“Here you go…”

“No, please! Tell me! Apparently, there’s SOMETHING I don’t have enough of for you to want to take a ‘break’ from me.” She snatched the drink Graham was holding out of his hands and took a sip from it. “There! See, I drink, too. Does that make me good enough for you, now?”

“Kandyce, you’re drunk or something. You have to be, trying to do this at a damn party. This is a celebration and you’re trying to argue with me. You look insecure as shit right now, you know that?”

I wanted to intervene, wanted to step in and say something, but I felt it wasn’t my place. I half-felt like I was betraying Kandyce by not saying anything. But it was their relationship, I reminded myself. Not mine.

“I’m insecure?” Kandyce asked. “How the hell am I insecure, Graham? Because I want my man to be honest with me? Because I want my man to notice me?”

“What do you want me to be honest with you about, K? I’m always honest with you!”

“I want you to tell me what you were doing with that girl at the bar!” Kandyce shouted.

“Who?” Graham asked. “The chick you saw me with? Wendy? We were just talking.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Then don’t believe me!” Graham barked. “Shit. What do you want me to say? She’s an old friend, we were just talking and catching up. Damn!”

“How do you know her?” Kandyce prodded him.

“K, what the… why does that even matter?”

“Wendy looked like someone I work with, okay?”

“And?” Graham asked. “So she’s another waitress. So fucking what?”

“Graham…” Kandyce shook her head. I knew what she wanted to say. She’d backed herself into a corner bringing up her work. I wasn’t sure if there was any way she could get out of it without telling him the truth. I stood there waiting.

“What?” he asked her again. In my anxiousness to hear Kandyce’s answer, I hadn’t realized that I was losing the grip on the glass I’d been holding. Before I knew it, I slipped out of my hand and shattered on the floor. As loud as everything that was happening in the club was, it didn’t catch everyone’s attention; but it DID catch the attention ofthe two people I had been listening in on. Kandyce and Graham both looked over at me. Expressions of surprise erupted on both of their faces. Got damn it!

“Damn, man,” I heard Graham mumble. Kandyce, on the other hand, said nothing at all, but merely stomped out onto the dance floor. Graham’s eyes followed her, but he stood there by me for at least aminute. Then, without looking back at me, Graham headed out into the dance floor, too, but in the opposite direction from the one Kandyce had gone in. If I hadn’t known any better, I’d have thought they were ashamed that I’d seen them fighting.

ACT TWO – THE BIG BANG (Episode XVIII)

As an administrator at this fine institution, I feel that if there is anyone I should be accountable to or be required to explain myself to, that person is solely the President of Georgia State University. Not too long ago, I was picked by the President and a selection committee of distinguished faculty and University staff to fulfill this position as Vice-President of Student Affairs. I would like to believe that I was selected as much for my decision-making ability and the fact that I was truly representative of good leadership, as I was for my body of work prior to coming to Georgia State.

With that said, there has been a great amount of controversy as of late regarding my consideration to reassign funds and resources that have previously been directed towards the Office of African-American Student Services & Programs (OAASS&P). Again, I feel no need to explain my actions or reasoning to anyone other than the University’s president. However, I do feel it is important to clarify that my intention was never to specifically target a particular area of the University solely because of racist or discriminatory reasons. As well, it concerns me that members of the student body may be misinterpreting my actions as such.

My phone suddenly buzzed, taking my attention away from the email I had been reading on my laptop that was, itself, taking my attention away from Professor Williams’s class. Rory must have heard it, too, because he looked at me out of the corner of his eye. I shook my head on the sly, then slowly slid my phone from out of my pocket. Clarity had sent me a text:

Stokely! Have u read ur email yet? Check it! I think it’s a battle won, but the war still isn’t over. – Clare

I was admittedly taken aback by Clarity’s message. Not because she sent it to me when she knew I was in class… but because it had been quite a minute since I’d talked to her. I didn’t know what I had done, or what was going on with her, but ever since we’d hung out that Friday of Spring Break, she’d been acting strange. She’d spoke to me ever since in short phrases, and didn’t seem to notice when I was joking with her during our “pow-wow” sessions the last two weeks regarding the OAASS&P. It was kind of like what the singer Musiq had talked about in his song “halfcrazy”: “you used to laugh, now you get mad/ and really, I just want my friend back.”

But this wasn’t the time or place to worry about that. I sent a Checkin it now text back to Clarity, then went back to reading that email.

Consequently, after much discussion amongst my peers on staff and with the University president, I have decided to hold an open forum to both clear the air about the rumors and falsehoods that may have been communicated to the student body and to also hear student feedback. I was unaware that certain members of the student body were so passionate about certain areas of campus, or that they felt these particular areas of campus made significant contributions to the Georgia State community. On Tuesday, March 31, 2009, I invite everyone who is a part of the Georgia State University community to come out and be a part of this candid discussion about GSU’s needs and what we can do TOGETHER to make sure those needs are met.

I hope that you will bring your opinions and views to this forum, in much the same way as you have to other mediums in the past few weeks. Thank you for your time and have a great day.

At the exact moment that I’d finished reading the email, the bell rang, signaling the end of class. Students, some of them emerging from silent naps, rushed to gather their things and get out of the classroom. But Professor Williams, as usual, wasn’t going to let us go that gently.

“Wait!” she shouted, stopping all of us in our tracks. “Before you all leave, I wanted to remind you all that your paper proposals for the Final Paper for this course are due one week from now. Remember that your proposals must be between 2 and 3 pages double-spaced in Microsoft Word. I’ll send an email reminder out about this as well. Alright, I’ll see you all Thursday.”

I joined the masses that filed out of the classroom. I hated to admit it, but I’d needed that reminder from Professor Williams. It was now that following Tuesday, March 24; and between Spring Break and last week, and this week right now, I was mentally all over the place. If I even made it TO Thursday, I’d be thankful. A lot had happened in a very short amount of time. The biggest thing was Spring Break itself. Of course, I’d found out from Graham that things hadn’t exactly gone well with the two of them when Kandyce went out to visit his folks. He’d told me that Kandyce had gotten angry with him because of something that had happened at a family dinner with his parents; while I’d felt like Graham hadn’t told me the whole story, I felt it wasn’t my business and accepted what he’d told me. I became even more concerned when I hit Kandyce back up later that Spring Break week, on that Thursday, and she hadn’t returned my texts.

It was a tough situation to be in. My two best friends, seeing each other but going through a rough patch in their relationship. I was in the middle of it, and I wanted to really be in the middle of it, but it wouldn’t be good for me to BE in the middle of it, if that made sense. And almost immediately, I wanted to accuse Graham of doing something. In the back of my mind, I felt that wasn’t fair. I wondered if Kandyce might be pushing him away because of her secret life, a secret I was sure she still hadn’t told Graham about.

To make matters worse, just last week, they’d taken a “break” from each other. I’d wanted to kick Graham’s ass so bad for that. Why, I thought, why would he want to ruin a good thing? Unfortunately, I hadn’t been able to talk to him about that because I’d been so preoccupied. The one good thing about their “break” was that Kandyce hadn’t objected to doing something with me for her birthday last Thursday. I’d finally gotten my date with her. Although that hadn’t exactly gone according to plan, either.

The other issue with Spring Break was Clarity. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel like the past few weeks had brought us closer. I’d gone out with Clarity on Friday and done the picnic with her and everything simply to show her a good time. After all, that’s what friends do, right? They make sure the other person knows that they appreciate their company. After that Friday, though, after I’d brought her home… something in Clarity’s demeanor changed. And I couldn’t figure out what. It was almost like we’d gone back to the same awkward place we’d found ourselves in after that night two years ago: a week of not talking to each other, not because we didn’t want to talk, but because neither of us knew what to say.

But what had I done this time? I wondered. I’d asked her about Kandyce. I’d kissed her goodnight during Spring Break, an innocent kiss, I thought. And then, this past Thursday when I’d had Kandyce over for her birthday dinner, Clarity had pretty much saved my ass when she’d called me and told me to call Graham because he was a little “worried” he couldn’t reach Kandyce or me.What if I wasn’t what I had done… but rather, what I HADN’T? My eyes darted up in sudden realization. No way… she can’t possibly feel like…

I was pulled out of my thoughts by what my eyes had landed upon, however. I guess my body must have been going as fast as my mind had been, because now I was far away from the General Classroom building and inside of the Student Union. I had stopped in front of a bulletin board on one of the walls in the Union, and on that bulletin board was a poster, a poster which was somehow just as flashy and eyegrabbing as the neon flyers tacked to the board around it. The poster had a black background and a grey smoke effect going on that seemed to rise from the bottom of it up to the center of the poster. Against the black background, their legs slightly visible in the “smoke,” one could see outlined in crimson red five silhouettes, each holding elongated candy canes at their right sides. Standing out of the smoke effect, in red letters outlined in white, were the words

THE TRUTH IS KOMING… 3.27.09… 7:11 PM – STUDENT UNION

I didn’t notice it until I’d broken out of my trance, but a crowd of students had gathered around me. It seemed the poster had also caught their attention, and they were all whispering amongst themselves. At least, it seemed like they were focused on the poster. I managed to break myself free of the crowd, looking back at them out of the corner of my eye as I walked away. When I looked up again, my eyes fell on a familiar face: Mike. He briefly glanced from me, to the crowd of students at the bulletin board, then back to me. He shrugged at me, and I just nodded back at him. Simple gestures, but I felt between the two of us, they said everything that needed to be said. For now.

***

“Graham?” I heard the voice call my name, but I hadn’t really been paying attention. I was more focused on what was going on at the other end of the Student Union, where a crowd was forming. In my mind, I thanked Frankie for convincing me that it was a good idea to put one of the posters for the big event up in here.

“Graham!” The voice called out again, and a pair of fingers snapped in my face at the same time, bringing my attention back to where it should’ve been to begin with. I shook my head and blinked a few times, then focused back on the beautiful girl in front of me.

“Girl, don’t be snapping your fingers in my face!” I ordered her playfully.

“I wouldn’t have had to if you had been listening me,” the young lady sitting before me said with a smirk.

“Okay, my bad, my bad,” I apologized to her. “What’s up?”

“Well, it’s not that serious,” she admitted, unable to contain a small smile from spreading across her face. “I was just going to ask you if you might, you know… tell me what’s up on this probate again?”

“Mannn,” I said, sucking my teeth and rolling my eyes playfully. “This is like, what, the fourth time you’ve asked me that? We can’t just enjoy lunch?” She laughed out loud, perhaps a bit too hard.

“I mean, I’m just saying. Like, you can’t even tell a sista who just ONE of the guys coming out is? Just one name?” I shook my head. “Man, Graham, why are you being so stubborn?! Shoot, I’m Greek, too. I know the rules, I’m not gonna tell anybody.”

“Well, if you know the rules,” I started, looking at her with a smirk on my face, “then you know telling ‘anybody’ includes telling you. Besides, if you don’t know by now who we have coming out, then you DESERVE to wait ‘til Friday.”

“I mean, I have a few guesses,” she admitted. “But I just want a confirmation.”

“Man, Je’Nah… no!” I said, like I was frustrated, though she could probably tell I was just playing around.

“Well, fine then, Graham!” she retorted, sticking her tongue out at me for extra effort. We both burst out laughing at each other.

It was Tuesday still. Je’Nah and I had decided to do lunch again to talk about next week’s forthcoming “Krimson and Kreme” week, a week of events that the Deltas and Kappas would be putting on together. Don’t get it twisted, though. After Kandyce’s birthday on Thursday and all that happened that night… well, Kandyce and I were still a couple, but something had clearly changed in the fabric of our relationship. The honeymoon, so to speak, was definitely over. She’d finally answered the phone when I called her the day after her birthday, at which point she explained to me that she hadn’t been returning my calls because she’d been angry with me. As for where she’d been, Kandyce told me she had gone out with her girlfriends on a sort of “girls’ night” downtown. I accepted both of her explanations (not like I had a choice otherwise) and ever since then, at the least, we’d been back on talking terms. Part of me wondered, though, if Kandyce just might have been lying to me.

Doubt in a relationship is never good. Almost all relationship issues begin with one person not feeling like they can trust the other. It wasn’t even that I didn’t trust Kandyce, but it was something about her… something about the way she’d said “it was just me and the girls” that didn’t quite sound right. Not knowing where else to turn, I’d asked Stokely for his advice about it when we met up this past weekend. Though truth be told, Stokely was barely above suspicion his damn self. He was the one who called me the night of Kandyce’s birthday.

“Yeah, bro, you rang?” Stokely had answered on the second ring when I’d called him.

“Yeah, man,” I’d told him. “I, umm… well, it’s Kandyce’s birthday and all, and I was just trying to get in touch with my girlfriend, man, you know. I figured you might be able to help me find her?”

“Ah. Hmm. Bro, I wish I could be of more help,” he’d replied. “But I don’t know where she is. I’m actually in the library with Clarity working on something. We have a paper due in Professor Williams’ class next week.”

“Oh, okay,” had been all I was able to think to say at the time. After that, I’d just hung up. I hadn’t bothered to think about it anymore because my sole concern had just been making sure that wherever Kandyce had been Thursday night, Stokely was nowhere nearby. Well, that, plus I felt guilty for my motive behind asking that question, so I’d just accepted Stokely’s answer. And he’s your best friend! I couldn’t help thinking. You should feel like shit for even thinking Stokely would do something like that to you.

“But sometimes it’s the people you let closest to you, who are in the best position to strike the blows that will hurt you the most.”

“What?” Je’Nah asked me. I looked up at her and remembered where I was again.

“My bad,” I told her. “Must have just been thinking aloud.”

“I figured that,” she replied, taking a sip from her soda. “But what did you say, though? It sounded kind of… poignant.”

“‘Sometimes it’s the people you let closest to you, who are in the best position to strike the blows that will hurt you the most.’” I repeated myself.

“Ah. Yeah, I was right. That’s DEFINITELY poignant. Let me guess, it’s one of your ‘Graham-isms?’” I nodded, unable to contain a smile. She knew me so well, I thought. “I missed hearing those. You’re too busy for certain folks these days.” Je’Nah stuck out her tongue at me again.

“Hey, the next time you stick that tongue of yours out… you might not get it back.”

“Oh, is that so?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I replied. “That’s so.”

There was a mischievous glint in Je’Nah’s eyes now. I’d seen that look before, years ago, when we were both younger… and not attached. She leaned forward with her arms down and elbows on the table, licked her lips slowly. She was daring me, I thought. I had never been one to back down from a challenge. I ran a hand over my bald head, then leaned forward on the table myself, tilted my head up a little bit, called her bluff. Everything around us seemed to move in slow-motion. Je’Nah’s lips started to part.

“AHEM!

“AHEM!”

“I let the roof drop (drippin’ candy with Super Baby)/ in my new car (and I’m glad that she love ta’ have me)/ I’m like, oooh Lawd (from Jamaica to Puerto Rico)/ down to Utah (from Miami to California)…”

“AHEM!” Je’Nah shouted, clearing her throat once again. This time, the girls standing in front of us turned around. Though if I were honest, even though Je’Nah had been loud, I was surprised the girls had heard her over the loud music playing in the Student Union. The fact that they heard this time, I thought, means they probably heard her the first time, too, and just ignored her. I shook my head but remained silent.

“Umm, yeah?” the girl asked, looking at Je’Nah with her eyebrows raised.

“Y’all need to move,” Je’Nah told her. “You see these jackets? We’re Greek. Priority seating, boo.” The girl looked over at her friend, then back at Je’Nah.

“Priority seating? Why?”

“Umm, hello! Again, the jackets.” Je’Nah was clearly losing her patience at this point. “We’re DELTAS. Meaning if we want to get closer to the damn probate, y’all need to fall back.”

“No, YOU need to fall back with that weave…”

“… I said, man, girl/ You think it’s 5 o’clock traffic on that 101?/ Maybe later on tonight, you and me can have ourselves a 1-on-1/ I swear I’ve seen you somewhere else/ Maybe it was on a movie screen/ Maybe it was on television/ Or on the cover of a magazine…”

By that point, the song that was playing – “That’s How I Go,” by the rapper Baby Bash, with Mario and Lil ‘Jon – coupled with the loudness of everyone talking around us, had caused me to lose focus on Je’Nah’s argument with those girls in front of us. Apparently, all the posters around campus and the multiple facebook event invitations and inbox messages had done what the Kappas expected them to do, because it was literally standing room only in the Student Union right now. Looking around, I saw Black students I had NEVER seen before, and there was a good number of non-Black students out here, too. Even some non-Black Greeks had come out – I saw some guys wearing the white shirts with brown lettering associated with Lambda Theta Phi, Incorporated, a Latin fraternity.

It was Friday night now, and everyone seemed to have found their way to the GSU Student Union for Kappa Alpha Psi’s “probate,” or presentation of new membership for this semester. Probates were always a fun occasion for Black GSU, because you were often bound to be surprised (or not) as to who was “on line” for a certain organization. The probates also provided a good environment for us Black Greeks to just enjoy each other’s company. As they are on any campus, the Black Greeks at Georgia State University were very competitive. Because of the amount of (figurative) blood and (literal) sweat and tears that we often put into our respective organizations, we were all quite passionate about “our letters.” While I wasn’t a fan of it, I could certainly understand why some people would literally go to blows over someone disrespecting their organization either through a gesture or spoken words. After all, the bond that a good sisterhood or brotherhood formed was sometimes thicker than blood… and you don’t let anyone fuck with your family.

“Trick, get the hell out of here!” I turned in Je’Nah’s direction just to see her lunge at the two girls from earlier, and they quickly scattered away in fear. “Damn boppers. Out here seeking employment opportunities and shit for the fall.” I’d burst out laughing at that.

“Je’Nah, you just be mean sometimes!” I told her. “Just mean for no reason!”

“I had a reason to go off on those girls, though, K!” Je’Nah tried to explain herself. “I promise! How DARE she talk about my hair when there wasn’t a damn thing real on her ass! Fake Gucci bag, fake eyelashes… talking about ‘Don’t step on my Louboutins.’ Shit looked more like Louie’s Boots or something. Tip Drill 2009 lookin’ asses.”

“Je’Nah, stop!” I was almost crying laughing at my friend now. “Dang. Let them make it! I can’t even tell if that’s you or the liquor talking.”

“It’s me, trust me.”

“Prada frames on me/ Look at the chain on me/ Oh, that brotha got a mean swag on him, don’t he?/ All the girls want me, but couple girls only/ Yea, you lookin’ good, but don’t put ya stain on me…”

“Oh, this is my SONG! Kandyce, we HAVE to do this one!” And before I could even react, Je’Nah had dragged me out of the crowd and out into the open behind the other Black Greeks who had started “strutting” to the new song that was on now, the rapper Big Tuck’s “Not a Stain on Me.” Luckily, our other sorority sisters had spotted us and came over to where we were so that it wouldn’t be just me and Je’Nah representing for Delta. As soon as we found a break, we followed Je’Nah’s lead, taking four strides forward then rocking our bodies to the left and right in tune with the bass of the song, arms stretched forward and palms out with each index finger and thumb touching each other to form a triangle, or “Delta” sign.

I started really feeling it mid-song, to where I was stopping after the fourth stride to duck my head down and sway my head and hips from side to side, but in opposing directions. Eventually, the pink and green jackets of girls in Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority could be seen behind us, and the brothers of the GSU chapters of Alpha Phi Alpha and Omega Psi Phi Fraternity were moving alongside of us, each organization’s members doing a strut and gesture specific to that organization.

“I see you, K!” One of the Alphas called as they strutted past us, and I couldn’t help grinning back at him.

Some people around the room were cheering us on, but most of them were dancing to the song by themselves or with their friends. Eventually, the song ended, and some of us Greeks exchanged high fives and hugs with one another before breaking away back into the crowd. I took advantage of the break to fix my hair, which I had thrown in every which way while we had been strutting. Suddenly, I felt someone tap me on my shoulder. I turned around and broke into a huge smile upon seeing who it was – Venezuela Sanchez, who was looking pretty cute, I had to admit, in her white jacket with the pink and purple lettering representing her sorority, Sigma Lambda Gamma, Incorporated.

“Vee!” I exclaimed, hugging her. “I haven’t seen you in a while! And who’s that with you?” I looked around her to see the guy who was standing behind her. “Rory! How you been, boy?!”

“Same ol’, same ol’, Kandyce,” he replied with a smile. “We saw you over here and just wanted to come over and say hello.”

“Yeah,” Venezuela piped up. “Well, also, I was kind of looking for Mike…”

“Mike?” I asked.

“Yeah. I saw Rory first and figured Mike might be with him since they’re best friends. But Rory hadn’t seen him, so then we saw you, and thought YOU might know where he was.”

“Not at all,” I replied. “But speaking of best friends, I haven’t seen Clarity since we left the house. And where’s Stokely? I haven’t seen him since he k-”

Kissed me. I managed to stop myself just before I blurted it out. I hoped no one had caught my slip-up, but all eyes were clearly on me. Got damn it!

“Since what, Kandyce?” Je’Nah asked.

“Nothing,” I said quickly.

“Are you sure?” Venezuela prodded. “Because it really seemed like you had something to-”

Just then, the lights in the Student Union went out, save for a few white ones all the way in the back over the front doors. The room fell completely silent. Within moments, the front doors of the Student Union opened. The bright light of a lantern switched on, and one could see behind it three of the current Kappas dressed out in black suits with pink dress shirts and dark red ties.

“Bout damn time,” Je’Nah whispered. “It’s like 8:15. Didn’t these niggas say it was gon’ start at 7:11?”

“In nineteen-hundred and eleven…” a deep voice thundered from the front of the room, and all heads darted back in that direction. Where the DJ had been positioned to the left of the big stage at the front of the union, there was now a small, bright red light shining. “The truth was founded. And everything before that… and everything after that… were merely lies.

“Some niggas can’t handle the truth. Most niggas WISH they were the truth. All women want the truth. But only a few brave souls can actually BE the truth. And the truth ain’t for everybody. They say that underneath every truth, it’s always a Konspiracy Theory.” Again, the room fell silent. Then

“AYOOOOOOOO!” A loud voice shouts from the back of the room, causing everyone to spin back around. After blinking a few times, I can see past the white light that the guy holding the lantern is Vincent, one of the guys who crossed with Graham. And just barely visible behind Vincent, I could make out a number of guys, each of them appearing to be wearing a red hood over their heads.

“… So Fressssssh!/ Coming through shining on ‘em/ Keep that lime on me, nigga/ Get money on ‘em/ (So fresssh!)/ Shinin’ all the time, my ice be bubbly/ Gucci tailor-made and them hoes so lovely…”

Birdman’s song “The Money So Fresh” cut through the silence and echoed through the Student Union. As if on cue, the lantern in the back of the room began to move forward, towards the empty lane in the middle of the crowd. At first, it looked like the guys kept falling and getting back up. As the lantern got closer and, therefore, the Kappas, got closer and closer, however, I could see that they were all doing the “shimmy” – the Kappa strut in which the men would lean forward, extend an arm and shift their shoulders smoothly from one side to the other, dipping their bodies a bit at the end of the motion. They slowly approached us, the crowd going wild and shouting encouragement to the young men coming through.

“… Yeah, this big money talk/ see, I got it from the big brotha/ (big brotha)/ from a lil’ brotha (lil’ brotha), to the field brotha (field brotha)/Mold and swole, brotha want the whole blow/ So we put the game down and we got it under control/ Disrespect the ‘G’ code? Naw, fuck that…”

The guys had reached us at the front of the room now. The crowd was practically roaring. As they headed up the steps leading to the stage, I counted 10 guys between the Kappas in suits at the front and back of the “line.” They all wore red hoods, khaki pants with suspenders, and dark red bowties, from what I could make out when the lantern had passed by us.

“Kandyce!” I heard Je’Nah whisper.

“What?” I whispered back, never taking my eyes off the guys lining up on the stage.

“I have a feeling you’re really going to like this line.”

“I already know who’s on the line, thank you,” I replied.

“Doubt it.”

“Okay, so I know all of them but ONE,” I admitted.

The lights in the Student Union all came back on again, and the “So Fresh” song abruptly cut off. The ten men in red hoods formed a straight line, from shortest to tallest; or, as we often referred to them, from “ace” to “tail.” Each one held before him between clenched fists a somewhat long red-and-white-striped cane. I could see a few of those fists trembling. I smiled, all too familiar of that nervousness one could have before finally revealing themselves to the world as the newest member of an organization. Graham, looking gorgeous as usual in a black suit that complimented his dark skin perfectly, suddenly walked past everyone on the stage over to where the DJ was. He turned back towards us with a microphone in his hands.

“YO NUPES!” Graham shouted, and the ten mystery men on stage quickly lowered their canes to the ground and linked their arms together.

“Yes, sir!” they replied in unison from underneath their red hoods.

“Are you the TRUTH?” Graham asked them.

“Yes, sir! We are the truth, and we don’t lie! We are the pride of Kappa Alpha Psi!” The crowd shouted cheers of approval and numerous chants at the guys upon their response.

“I don’t believe you. Prove it.” Graham told them. Immediately, the other Kappas who were dressed out in suits walked behind the line of hooded men, and Graham walked over to join them. The hoods of each man, one by one, were yanked away from their heads. The Student Union rumbled from all the cheers and cries that came from the crowd.

“MIKE!” I heard Venezuela say behind me. Mike, I had actually known was “pledging.” I figured that out about a week after he’d seen me at the Creamy Peaches. But it was the eighth guy who caught me by surprise. I had to blink twice just to make sure my eyes weren’t tripping on me. But the same person was still standing there, eyes staring forward past me and into the crowd, jaw clenched and looking, somehow, more handsome than he ever had before. I felt the awe that was plastered all over my face, felt my face get warm as a toothy grin spread across it.

“STOKELY.”

ACT TWO – Episode XVII

“Happy Birthday, Kandle!”

“Why, thank you, baby sister!” I told the voice on the other end of the phone, feeling a huge grin spread across my face for what seemed like the millionth time today. “I surely do appreciate it.”

“Did you get Daddy’s gift?”

“Did I?” I looked over at the vase full of sunflowers that had been delivered to my apartment door earlier this morning and felt my grin expand even more. There was a reason my Daddy was the number one man in my life, even if at times I didn’t feel I was number one in his. I resisted the urge to walk back over and admire my bouquet again; it was probably easier to resist since I had read the card attached to the flowers so many times already that I’d memorized the message written on the inside. “Baby, we have our disagreements, but I am so blessed to have you as a daughter. I am proud every day – not just on your birthday – of the beautiful young woman you have grown into. Happy Birthday, Kandy Cane. I love you! – Dad”

“So what you got planned, anyway?” Koral asked. “I know you’re going OUT for your birthday. Getting your college party on and all!”

“Psh, not even,” I replied. “Well, not tonight, anyway. It’s still a school night, you know. NEVER go out on a Thursday night when you have class Friday morning. Learn from my mistakes sophomore year, young one.”

“Okay, okay,” Koral said, laughing. “I’ll take your word for it. Well, are you doing anything at all?”

“Actually,” I started, “You kind of called me in the middle of my other celebration.”

“Other celebration?” Koral asked. “I thought you said you weren’t partying tonight.”

“Koral, there are other ways of celebrating one’s birthday.”

“Oh, is that so, big sister? Like what?” She paused for a minute as if she was thinking about something, then suddenly gasped in surprise. “Oh my gosh! You must giving that boy of yours some birthday nasty! What was his name again? I know it was the name of a cookie… Chip, maybe?”

“Chip?! Really, Koral?” I almost started to correct her, but decided against it since I was laughing so hard. “And besides… ‘birthday nasty’?! What kind of girl do you take me for? That’s disgusting! I’m not like your fast-ass cheerleader friends, thank you. I’m a grown woman!

“And speaking of which, it’s about that time for me to do some grown-woman things. You wouldn’t know nothing about that!”

“Whatever, Kandyce,” Koral replied, and I could hear the bitterness in her voice. “I’ll be 18 in a few months, finally!”

“And you’ll STILL be my little sister. 18 don’t make you grown, young one. That’s 21!”

“Ugh, you get on my nerves! You’re lucky it’s your birthday, or I’d be capping on you,” she said, though I could hear her laughing through the receiver.

“Um-hum. But it is, so you ain’t! Anyway, I’ll call y’all this weekend, okay? Thanks again for the birthday wishes, Koral!”

“No problem, big sister!” Koral replied. “Love you and enjoy the rest of your birthday! Oh, and use protection, please! Some girl in the freakin’ Honor Society just got pregnant, I found out. I swear it’s a different girl every six months getting knocked up over here. I’m not ready to be Aunt Koral, you know…”

“BYE, Koral!” I was still giggling at my baby sister’s rant even after I’d hung up the phone. She could be so crazy sometimes, I thought, shaking my head. But as much as I hated to admit it, that was why I loved her so much. Immediately after getting off the phone with Koral, I hopped back onto Facebook Mobile, anxious to read and check all the birthday wishes that had been added to my profile since I’d last checked it.

Obviously, it was now Thursday, March 19. On this day 22 years ago, the Lord so loved the world that he blessed it with Kandyce Jasmine White. And so far, my birthday was shaping out to be one of the best ones ever. Looking over all the posts on my facebook page, I felt the love. Even the basic generic “Happy Birthday” posts were making me feel better. That, coupled with my daddy’s flowers and…

“You say you don’t trust him because he been locked up/ You say that he’s trouble ‘cuz he out in the strip club/ But you were young once, so you should under-staaand/ You say that you know, ‘cuz you been a witness…”

The ringtone had interrupted my facebook session and completely caught me off-guard. Well, not completely, because I’d certainly heard it a few times today. But this had to be AT LEAST the fourth time he’d called me today. The ringtone was, of course, Destiny’s Child’s song, “My Man.” Even though he’d really bothered me suggesting that we take that “break,” Graham still WAS my man and I definitely still cared about him and keeping us intact. But I hadn’t really talked to him since he’d left that message on my phone Monday. He didn’t call me at all on Tuesday, which I took as a slap in the face. Perhaps he was just trying to avoid any awkwardness (or, more than likely, me going off on him); but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t taken that some kind of way. It really felt like Graham didn’t give a damn about even working on whatever it was he felt was a problem. He’d wanted some time apart and his actions made it seem like he was taking advantage of our little “break” to go on a vacation of his own.

Needless to say, when he finally did get at me on Wednesday, I wasn’t trying to hear from him. Okay, scratch that. I did want to hear from him, I did want to hear his voice, but I just wasn’t trying to hear him talk. In a sense, it was probably for Graham’s own good. I was still mad at him, and I was certain that I would’ve found something wrong with whatever he might have had to say. But today, Graham had tried to get in touch with me… and he HAD had some random sophomore – no doubt one of the guys they had on Kappa line – “deliver” a chocolate-colored teddy bear holding some Milk Duds to me in Professor Williams’s class earlier. I stared down at the phone for what seemed like forever, the ringtone still blaring throughout the living room. And then I looked up.

Stokely was now standing outside of the kitchen in his apartment, staring at me with an almost worried expression on his face. I knew what he was thinking. I was thinking it, too. We locked eyes, the room quiet except for “My Man” still playing.

“Well, that’s him, right?” Stokely finally said, breaking the silence. I nodded. “Are you going to answer that?” I looked down at the phone, then back up at him. The very last thing I needed was some kind of drama on my birthday, I thought. But still… hearing from Graham was the only thing missing from today, MY day…

I sighed deeply and pressed a button on the phone. And almost immediately after, I regretted my decision.

***

“Hello, you’ve reached Kandyce White. I’m probably busy, but if you leave your name, number, and a message, I promise to return your call as soon as possible. Thanks, and take care!”

“FUCK!” I shouted. I hung up the phone before the answering machine “beep” even finished. “Damn, man! Why the hell isn’t she picking up the phone?”

“I don’t know why you’re looking at me, bro,” Vincent said. “I for damn sure don’t know.”

“Nigga, didn’t I warn your ass?”

“Man, don’t start, Lloyd,” I told him. “This ain’t the time, man.”

“I mean, shit, I hate to say I told you so,” Lloyd replied. “I sincerely hoped I wouldn’t HAVE to. But here we are… Niggas never want to listen until after the fact, until after something bad happens or things don’t go their way.”

“Fine, fine! You’re right, okay?” I gave in. “So I’m listening now. Tell me what I’m supposed to do. I mean, hell, I’m just trying to talk to my girl on her birthday, and she won’t even pick up the damn phone for that? I sent her ass a damn gift today! I’m trying to make it right even though she’s mad at me, and this is the thanks I get?” Lloyd simply looked at me like I was crazy. “What?! It’s true!”

Thursday night. And when I should have been kicking it with my girl on her day, I was instead hanging with my frat at Earl and Lloyd’s apartment, preparing for the big event next week. Lloyd had actually planned for us to work on things Wednesday. But when I’d brought him up to speed about Kandyce’s giving me the “silent treatment,” he decided instead to move things ahead to Thursday. I’d thought he was doing that on purpose, just so I would end up missing her birthday; now, though, it seemed like he’d known something I didn’t, or at least anticipated Kandyce’s actions well.

“Aye, y’all get back on task!” Earl barked. “Shit. This ain’t the Tyra show.”

“The Tyra Show?” Vincent asked with a laugh. “Nigga, you must watch that shit because that was random as hell.”

“Right!” Frankie piped up. “Bird probably be on the sly rooting for those young girls with self-esteem issues. Crying and shit.”

“Hey, cut that out!” Earl lashed out, and we all started laughing at him. “Even if I DO watch Tyra, so what?”

“Dawg, why you so sensitive?” Frankie asked in a mock female voice, reaching out to touch Earl on his shoulder. We cracked up even harder when Earl jerked away from him.

“Man, that ain’t even right!” Earl said, though he was laughing with us by now. “Y’all play too much. Shit. Anyway… Vince, you said you booked the Union, right?”

“Yes, sir. We have the whole area reserved there, as well as outside where the general University Plaza is. It was just backup in case y’all might have wanted to either bring the guys in from outside, or just do the probate outside.”

“Sounds good,” Earl replied. “Sounds good. What about the posters for the event? How are we coming along on that?”

“I’ve been working on it,” I spoke up. Publicity for the event had been my responsibility. “It’s pretty much complete now, I had just wanted to play around with different ideas on photoshop and all. I’ve been distracted for a minute…”

“Clearly,” Frankie mumbled.

“I’ve been distracted for a minute,” I repeated myself, sidestepping Frankie’s comment, “but y’all should have the image tonight. Get me y’all’s feedback early enough and I’ll try to have things at the printer tomorrow afternoon for pick up Saturday.”

“Good,” Earl said. “Good shit! It seems like for the most part, we’re all good to go for next Friday, then.”

“Pretty much,” Lloyd agreed. “I’m admittedly excited about these boys coming in, man. I see a lot of potential in them.”

“Yeah, me too. But hey, hold up, y’all. I gotta go to the bathroom.”

“Nigga, you ain’t have to announce that shit!” Vincent said. “I mean, this is your place. You come and go as you please.”

“Man, I’m just saying, youngin, in case y’all start talking about something. I want to be in the loop, too! Shit.” We all chuckled again as Earl left the living room and headed into his bedroom. After a minute or two had passed, I nudged Lloyd.

“What?” he asked, looking at me with an irritated expression on his face.

“Dawg, tell me what I need to do about Kandyce!”

“Man, nigga, let that girl alone, man,” Frankie said. “Didn’t you say y’all were taking a vacation from each other or something? Shit, for right now, you single. Enjoy that shit, man, and stop worrying about Kandyce.”

“See, that’s how you know.” Vincent remarked.

“That’s how you know what?” Frankie asked, looking at him. I was curious to know myself.

“That’s how you know this nigga Frankie never been in a relationship. Not a long one, anyway.”

“Man, I hate yo’ ass, Vincent. Putting my business out there like that.”

“Dawg, when we were on line,” Vincent started, “did you not tell EVERYBODY that the longest you’d ever stayed with a chick was three months?”

“No, nigga, I did not say that at all.” Frankie replied. “You misquoting me and putting words in my mouth. Three months?” He sucked his teeth and looked away from all of us, and for a minute, I thought he was actually offended. “It was more like three weeks.” We all burst out laughing.

“Man, Frankie… you dog-ass nigga,” Vincent said between laughs. “Man… okay, but look, for real, though, Graham. The obvious answer to your question, is to ask her girlfriend.”

“What?!” Lloyd asked.

“I’m telling him he should ask Kandyce’s girlfriend. You know, her best friend. Everybody knows that when a dude is in the dark about why his girl is mad at him, you can count on her best friend to shed some light on the situation.”

“Okay, first, that only works if you’re cool with the girl and her best friend. And second, hell naw, Graham should NOT do that shit.” Lloyd turned to look at me. “I’m telling you, you call ol’ girl and it’s going to do more harm than good.”

“Man, don’t listen to Lloyd’s paranoid, ‘the one that got away’ ass, man,” Vincent said. “Trust me, it’s never failed me. If you had an issue with Kandyce, who’s the first person you would think to go to? Je’Nah, right?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “Yeah, Je’Nah would… actually, Je’Nah would be who I would go to if I thought Kandyce had an issue. Kandyce would probably actually go to… aww, hell.”

“What?” Vincent asked.

“I would probably have to ask Clarity.”

“Okay. So?”

“Man, it’s not that simple, Vincent.” On the sly, I exchanged a knowing glance with Lloyd. “Clarity and I don’t always get along.”

“Dawg, that doesn’t even matter,” Vincent assured me. “It’s not about you and ol’ girl. It’s about you and Kandyce.”

“And you honestly believe how Clarity may feel about Graham, won’t play a role in what she tells him?” Lloyd asked.

“I honestly do. She may not like him, but she knows Kandyce does, right? I know Clarity. She can be a little stubborn and shit, but she’s not like most of the girls on campus that just try to be messy. I’d trust her before I trust Je’Nah’s ass.”

“Man, you still mad at her about that party?” Frankie piped up, chuckling. “Vince, that was a whole year ago, bro.”

“Frankie, I’m telling you! I could see if we all went to different schools or something. But no… not only did we cross on the same campus, but we’re Sandz, we crossed the same damn year… and Je’Nah STILL charged my ass full-price at the door for that damn party after midnight! Hello, Greek discount?! That shit wasn’t cool!”

“Okay, okay,” I broke in. “But back on task. You really think I should call Clarity.”

“Ye-“ “NO.”

“Man, stop blocking his ass, dawg!” Vincent told Lloyd.

“I’m not blocking Graham, I’m trying to save his ass,” Lloyd corrected him. He turned to me again. “Graham, I told your ass the last time and you didn’t listen. You’re going to let history repeat itself?”

“Lloyd,” I started, sighing deeply. “At the least, it’s worth a try.” Lloyd threw his hands in the air in frustration.

“Niggas! Damn… y’all don’t listen for SHIT!”

“Lloyd, calm down, man. It’s not that crucial,” I heard Frankie say. But by that time, I was already up from my place on the living room couch and walking towards the back porch of the apartment. This was a conversation I’d need to have in private, I thought. I unlocked the glass back door and made my way out onto the apartment balcony.

“Oh, so niggas ain’t good enough to cake in front of their friends now?” Vincent cracked, but I waved him off and closed the glass door behind me. I broke out my Blackberry and dialed Clarity’s phone number. I hope she can put her beef with me aside for this, I thought as the phone started ringing. It’s like Vincent said, this ain’t about me and her, this is about me and Kandyce.

The phone rang a second time. Then a third. Then a fourth. Then

“You have reached the Georgia Mobile voicemail box of… Clarity Evans.” Man, this is some bullshit! I couldn’t help thinking. Nobody’s answering their phones for me? Really, though? The only other person I could think to call was Stokely, and I didn’t know if he was going to be willing to help me out… My phone suddenly buzzed. I pulled it away from my ear and saw that I had a call waiting. I felt my heart leap into my throat when I saw who it was. I swallowed hard, then answered the call.

“H-Hello?” I asked. I was almost mad at myself for sounding so damn nervous.

“Hey, Graham. You called me, right?”

“Yeah, I did, actually, Clarity. Umm… listen, I was just calling to see if maybe you knew where Kandyce was.”

“That’s a little… I dunno, stalker-ish, don’t you think, Graham?” she asked, and I could detect the sarcasm in her voice. “If I were honest, I’d think she didn’t want to talk to you.”

“Look, we had a falling out,” I admitted. “She just hasn’t been answering her phone, and it’s her birthday and all. I just really wanted to get in touch with her, you know.”

“That’s thoughtful of you.”

“Yeah. So yeah…” I expected her to say something back, but she was silent for a moment. I half-wondered if she had hung up on me. But then

“Well, I wish I could be of more help to you, Graham, but I don’t even know where she is. I haven’t seen her since about 5 PM today. Sorry.” Damn! Part of me wondered if Clarity was lying for her friend, but she certainly sounded genuine.

“She’s not there with you?” I asked again.

“Nope, she’s not with me. I’m not even at my apartment, though,” Clarity admitted. “I’m still on campus, actually. Camped out in the library.” I chuckled at that. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” I replied. “Just… you’re always in the library. I never really see you out that much.”

“Is there something wrong with that?”

“Not at all. I just remember that’s how you were even back a few years ago, always so studious and stuff. I admired that. I don’t know if I ever told you.”

“I don’t think you did. But thanks. I appreciate that. Well, again, I’m in the library, so… probably not a good idea for me to be on the phone while I’m in here.”

“You’re right,” I agreed. “Yeah, I’ll let you go.” Just then, a very random thought flashed through my head.

“Clarity?”

“Yep?”

“You wouldn’t happen to know where Stokely is, would you?” Again, she went silent. I couldn’t blame her, because I knew how random – paranoid even – the question may have seemed. But the thought had suddenly occurred to me that I hadn’t heard from Stokes at all today. And since I hadn’t been able to reach Kandyce, either…

“He’s with me.” she said abruptly.

“What?” I asked, not sure if I had heard her right.

“Stokely’s here in the library with me.”

“Well, can I talk to him?”

“He went off somewhere,” she replied. “I promise I’ll have him call you as soon as he comes back.”

“Alright, that’s fine. Thanks again, Clarity.”

“No problem. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help.” Yeah, I am, too, I couldn’t help thinking.

“It happens,” I told her. “Bye.” She hung up before I did.

Almost immediately on instinct, I wanted to call Stokely. I actually felt bad about it, too, being suspicious of my best friend like that. But there was something I just couldn’t shake. I feel like I’m missing something, I thought. Surely, Stokely could help me figure out what that “something” is… I dialed his number.

“Please leave your message for… Stokely Night!…”

I hung up before the voicemail message even finished. Got damn voicemail! I couldn’t help thinking. That’s the one common thread about everything tonight. What a fucked-up night this was turning out to be. I sighed deeply and shook my head, then slid back open the glass porch door.

“Well, bro?” Vincent asked as soon as I was back inside. There were equally anxious looks on all the guys’ faces.

“Clarity didn’t answer her phone,” I told him with a shrug, and my frat brothers all groaned.

“GSU chicks,” Frankie said, shaking his head. “They’re always on some other stuff.”

I sat back down and joined the guys. I wasn’t sure if I had lied about Clarity for their benefit or mine. But for sure, I felt horrible. I felt something I hadn’t felt in years, like my stomach had just bottomed out and my mouth was dry. Kandyce was really being cold to me, and for no… okay, maybe she had a reason to be that way, but this was going too far. Not even talking to me on her birthday? Not even returning my calls? Kandyce was tripping hard. And here I was, sitting with my frat feeling sick. And for what? A “break.” Not even a break-up…

“Graham!” a voice suddenly called, pulling me out of my thoughts. I blinked, then looked around the room. Again, all my frat brothers were looking at me.

“What?” I asked them.

“Dawg,” Lloyd started. “We’ve been trying to get your attention for a minute. Your phone rang.“

“Huh?” I felt my eyebrows furrow as I tried to process what Lloyd had said. My phone rang? Oh! I didn’t even bother trying to hide my excitement in front of them. I turned to the side and snatched up my phone from beside me on the arm of the couch. I checked my missed call. When I saw who it was, my jaw dropped before I was able to catch it.